Christian Poems

Betrayal #2

The more time goes on, more details get added into the mix, Lord. I'm such a fool. I should've known by his questioning when we became friends that he believed in the idea of having multiple wives.

I didn't read further into the question. I didn't read into convictions to not start a steady friendship You knew I'd end up pushing further. My lack of wisdom and knowledge is astounding. I'm so sorry God. I wish I could take it back, but I can't.

But I need to lay everything here. Before You. To put everything I think and feel into one place.

When his friend came talking to me, explaining the situation, I was in shock. Because I realized it wasn't just a man cheating on his wife and abandoning them behind their backs. It's the fact he truly thinks it's okay. That it's even a blessing from You, to have a big family.

No, I shouldn't put words in his mouth. A friend said it. But I'm sure they have the same mind in agreement. But God, I felt like it was easier to forgive him for the first part, because I felt more pain for his family, not myself. Now, the pain rises up again.

He never cared, that's the thing. I told him I wouldn't want to be with someone who lived that way. I thought it was just an odd question. He even said he knew as a Christian, you shouldn't but where he was from, it was common. Why was I so blinded?

And to make it worse, his friend must take me for a fool. Saying he'd pray to You to help me see. That's laughable. He said if we were meant to be together, You'd make it so. What a joke. I'm no homewrecker. I'm no woman who would ever go after a taken man.

Everything is a joke.

I laughed, Lord. After that conversation, I laughed. What a fool they must take me for. And truly, I am. I got myself into this situation. But I trusted them. I trusted the guy I had feelings for. I should've known to test his spirit. I should've known. But I can only learn from here.

I need to make it clear to them that this is very much against what I believe. I believe that just because things are in the Bible, doesn't necessarily make it okay. You allowed divorce because of the hardness of the people's hearts, but it was never Your design for marriage. I believe the same thing for this.

And besides, what good could possibly come out of a relationship like this? Do they not remember the story of Leah and Rachel? Jealousy and hatred ensued. I'm not about to lower my standards and throw away my dignity. Especially not after being played around with.

I'm no item to be collected.

I will stand my ground. I'm going to do the research to preach to them about this, but I know I have to leave my own anger and negative feelings out of it. This isn't about hurting me, it's about going against You.

It shows his lack of self control, to want more than one woman. It shows the lack of love in his heart for lying to me and playing me this entire time after he knew from the beginning how I felt.

But, I must take a step back, I haven't talked to him since I said we needed to part ways, so this anger towards him isn't fully warranted. It's mostly at his friend.

Either way, I ask You God to be with me. To speak to them with wisdom and knowledge. May the Holy Spirit fill me and speak for me, because I don't trust myself. Your word is true and powerful, let it pierce their hearts, Lord. Open their minds. Change their ways.

Let them be righteous before You. Forgive them, Lord. Help me to do the same.

I won't let this betrayal tear me down.