LOSERS || Husker x Angel Dust x Original Character (masc)

5. Overture - 1

"Well, hello there, you wayward Sinner! Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do, that's why you're in Hell!" I raise an eyebrow while watching the start of Alastor's commercial, eyeing it wearily.

"But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter, Charlotte Morningstar! Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands, as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!" I watch as Charlie puts on an uncomfy face at that, and I chuckle silently.

"Here we offer fun things, such as somewhat functional staff and 24-hour pest control." I smile as Husk and Niffty appear on the TV.

Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow!" I look towards Angel who's sitting by himself on a couch, looking slightly pissed at his appearance as I smirk. Noticing, he flips me off.

"All this, and more at the Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!" The Radio Demon turns off the TV as I look up towards the princess and her girlfriend, waiting for the drama to start.

"So, what do you think?" He asks with his usual big smile.

"I'm sorry. What the fuck was that?" Vaggie snaps, gripping her seat as to not go further.

"Uh, Yeah. One note, Alastor, I mean, first off, thank you so much for making this seriously amazing, but um, maybe the tone is a bit off." She explains, gesturing with her hands.
"We want people to want to come here. This makes it look, um..." She frowns as Vaggie interrupts her.

"Bad. The word you're looking for is bad."

"Miserable, even." I interrupt with a smile, getting a glare from the latina.

"Funny. I was going for hilarious." Alastor tilts his head.

"It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point." She says, exasperated.

"Vaggie is right Alastor, the commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them." Charlie explains calmly, though looking a little disappointed.

"Well, my dear, I haven't been active in hell for some time and everyone remembers me from my radio show, the proper medium to express oneself. But, you insisted on this noisy picture box advertisement." He smiles tastelessly, pissed as he taps on the television with his staff.
"So, I had a little fun with it."

"Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it?" Vaggie groans, standing up.
"Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run this hotel. Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's gonna wanna come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time." Just on cue, Angel raises his hand, while moving around the beer bottle he managed to steal from the bar on our way here.
"What?"

"If'n you're filming a commercial, can I suggest ya take better advantage of the talented celebrity ya have right here?" He asks, pointing at himself with his three free arms.

"Angel, you're a porn star." Vaggie deadpans.

"A famous porn star." He declares, sitting up slightly as I smile at his antics.
"I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in."

"We are not filming a porn as a commercial." She answers pissedly.

"Why not? Sex sells don't it? I swear if ya film me goin' at it with Mr. Fancy Talk Creepy Voice here," Alastor appears by the couch just on cue, making me frown at the demon. I really don't like when he does that.
"you'd be rollin' in participants willing to stay at this tacky hotel."

"Ha ha. Never going to happen." The demon shakes his head, as I chuckle knowing he's ace.

"Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but I really don't want to exploit you in that way." Charlie explains with an uncomfy smile.

"Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity." He laughs while pointing around his own body as I look to him with a knowing smile and a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, I got the legs!! The gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits-" I laugh at the last one on the list as Charlie's phone interrupts his rant.

"Hold that thought! I'll be right back." The princess says before leaving for privacy.

"I could keep goin' all night, baby~"

"Was that meant to be a pun too, or am I getting too used to your sex jokes?" I ask the spider demon with a chuckle.

"Whatever you'd like for it to be, darlin'." He purrs flirtily.

"Oh, stop that you guys." Vaggie says with an eyeroll, to which Angel just shrugs, changing the topic.

"Hey, I have a question."