LOSERS || Husker x Angel Dust x Original Character (masc)

31. Cigs and snakes

"Ya really have the nerve to spill all of that like you're the victim here?"

"Oh you're pathetic!"

"Look at ya!! Trembling and shit! The fuckin' nerve!!"

"Oh he regrets it!! Of course! He's so good! Oh I knew there was something wrong with ya! Goody-two shoes- but of course ya made me believe that! So helpless, ain't ya? Poor old Rio who just wants to get out of Cannibal Town, trying redemption instead. You're a fucking joke."

I frown at the last cigarette in my package, placing it on my lips and lighting it. Running my hand through my hair with a sigh, I lean on the railing of the balcony. I must admit, this tacky hotel does have a good view of the city.

Maybe he didn't mean it, he had a bad day.

Don't be a fool.

I stayed, and this is what I earned: getting hurt again. I should know better by now.

After everything I've gone through, I still can't get myself to stop caring about everyone I meet -except for the assholes, of course (meaning: Valentino). Isn't that stupid of me? Don't people lose the ability to care, eventually?

I've heard of it. People losing the ability to love. People dissociating through shit. Isn't that better? It probably isn't. But I really need my brain to shut the fuck up sometimes. And I need to make it so people stop finding out how to hurt me so easily. I thought I was beyond it already, I thought being manipulative meant I could hide my feelings well enough.

So, if I haven't, does that mean I haven't really been manipulating these people? Maybe I did manage to stop it, after I left... that place.

But no, who are you kidding, Rio?

Vox said it.

Angel said it.

I just keep manipulating everyone. I can't be better. Those shitty habits are just too engraved in my mind. Too much so that I don't even know when to stop thinking anymore.

Can I even stop thinking? Ever? What does it take to do so? I thought death would be enough. Apparently not. Funny, isn't it?

"Fucking hilarious." I mumble, my eyes feeling heavy with sleep as I blow some smoke out, tension leaving my shoulders as nicotine takes its place instead.

How didn't I die from smoking so much while I was alive? I certainly would've, if my life wasn't cut short early.

I hear a sliding noise, snapping my head back to look at whoever's approaching me with a glare, but I just sigh and look back to the city upon finding who is it.

"Sorry, snake, not in the mood to talk about how much you love your minions." I say dismissively, waiting for him to leave but not hearing him do so. Frowning confused, I just keep looking ahead.
"What's you deal, Pentious?"

"I uh... I'm sssorry for interrupting... thisss...?" He says unsure, and I roll my eyes.

"It's cute that you're working on Charlie's lessons about apologising, but there's no need for that. Go straight to the point, I don't have all day."

"You don't look really busssy though?" I chuckle at the mention, turning around and leaning on the balcony railing.

"Right. You got me there. Do tell me what's on your mind, though." I say, in a slightly better mood as I let out a small smirk at the guy's nervousness.

"I wasss just... Eh- I noticed there's some tension in the hotel lately?"

"When isn't there?" I shrug.

"Yeah but... Today's tension is just different from yesterday'sss." I tilt my head in confusion, and he just looks at me dumbfounded, pointing towards the empty cigarette package that's sticking out of my pocket.
"I alssso noticed you emptied that in one day."

"Oh! Such a sharp eye, didn't take you for someone who would notice stuff so easily."

"That compliment... felt a lot like an insult."

"Nevermind that, honey." I giggle, moving my hand dismissively.
"So, you noticed the package. And? You're sad I can't give you a cigarette now or?"

"No! No, I don't do sssmoking! That's bad!!"

"No shit, Sherlock."

"What?"

"Just keep talking!" I say, rolling my eyes at his stupidity as he pouts at my light-hearted mocking.

"The thing isss... You seemed tense earlier?"

"You're still missing your point, snake." I say, raising an eyebrow questioningly. He seems to get frustrated at this, holding back a groan.

"I thought perhapsss you'd wanna talk about it?"

I have to fight the urge to just burst out laughing as he says that, stopping as I notice his serious face and the frown of his hat. I can't help but smile as I answer, though.

"Dear, there's no need for you to pity me just 'cause I'm tense. It's fine! You can go on with your day without acting like you care. I'll tell Charlie you helped me though, if that's what you want." I turn around, dismissing him as I finish the last bit of my cigarette, throwing the butt off. But Pentious, once again, doesn't leave.

"I'm not pitying you, Mr. Rio! I just-"

"Don't call me that, makes me feel old."

"I'm not pitying you, Rio!" I chuckle as he repeats the sentence unsurely, really enjoying to tease him.
"I jussst wanted to help."

"Why?" I tilt my head confused.

"Becaussse I do care!" He almost seems desperate while saying this.

"Pfft- sure you do, doll." I laugh, shaking my head.
"Nice of you to try, of course, but I don't see the point of this."

He pouts, seemingly in deep thought. I can almost hear the gears turning in his head before he tries again.

"Maybe you could... ssstart by talking about something you like? I'd be delighted to lisssten!" Letting out a soft smile while looking outside to the city, I let myself give in, if even for just a little.

"Did you know snakes' tongues smell like shit?"

"What?! No they don't!!" He says, trying to look at his own tongue before giving up, hiding his mouth instead with a frown.

Letting out a light laugh, I notice someone's presence from inside the hotel. Trying to be subtle, I turn around slightly to notice Angel observing our talk from behind the glass doors to the balcony, before frowning and leaving down the hallway.