"Cannibals and Cannibettes, assemble in the square." Rosie screams through a megaphone, way too close to my ears and I wince at the sound before she takes my arm to lead my to the stage alongside Charlie and Alastor.
"You too, boy." Leaving me standing there next to the Radio Demon, she turns to Charlie.
"Now, darling, you know I would do anything, anything for my clients, but I can't exactly command all of Cannibal Town to follow someone else into battle. Now, don't get me wrong, they love carnage and bloodshed, but to get this group into line, you got to win 'em over." She then takes the megaphone again, approaching me as she talks almost as if she's annoying me on purpose.
"Settle in! Settle in! Important meeting."
"But how do I-" Charlie starts nervously, watching the cannibals approach her.
"With sparkle! Razzamatazz! and that oh so appealing moxie of yours."
"Shouldn't be a problem. It's not like you've ever failed to inspire before." Alastor says with a smile, and I look at him confused, almost as if he's referencing something I haven't witnessed. Maybe a failed attempt at a commercial on Hell's News?
"Now, fair warning. This group sticks together. So in order to convince any of them, you'll need to convince all of them. And there's one in particular-" The cannibal Overlord starts as Alastor interrupts her pissedly.
"Uuuugh, Susan."
"If she starts with her shit I'll be throwing hands." I mutter just for Rosie to stop me.
"No you won't. And yes, Susan, who's a bit of an... uh-"
"Ornery old bitch?" The Radio Demon says with a swift flick of his wrist, and his friend smiles.
"That! She's tough, but win her over and the rest will be easy as pie. Ready?"
"I... guess?"
"Everyone, we have a very special, very royal guest this evening! Please put your bloody hands together for Princess Charlie!" Rosie presents, and the blonde girl smiles awkwardly and waves at the crowd.
"Booooo! Bring Rosie back!"
"Maldita malparida- (fucking bastard-)" I try walking ahead towards the old, annoying lady just for both Rosie and Alastor to place their hands on my shoulders, stopping me.
"No." They say in unison, watching the exchange instead.
"Susan?" Charlie asks.
"Susan." They both answer annoyedly.
"That fucking-" I'm told to shut up once again as we all watch Charlie and Susan both speak at the same time.
"Sorry. Uh, okay, uh, my name's Charlie, and... Well, I run this hotel with my part... well someone and..."
"Booooo! Get off the stage you blue blood bitch!"
"Wait, let me start over. Angels are coming to kill us all and we need help defending our realm. So- we, uh..."
"Booo! We don't give a shit about some hotel. Leave before I eat those big ass eyes of yours."
"We need your help- With your assistance, we can make a stand for-"
"Boo! Get off. Where's the showmanship?"
"I...I have a dream and I-"
"Where's all the finesse? Fucking mediocre!"
"FUCK YOU YOU OLD BITCH!!!" The cannibals gasp at Charlie's outburst and Rosie drags her away swiftly, leaving Alastor holding me so I don't punch the old bitch.
"Okay! We'll be back after a brief intermission."
Watching them walk away, my deer friend and I are left in front of a mumbling crowd of cannibals and a still pissed Susan as I'm still fuming about her attitude.
"She was pathetic!" The old woman keeps telling her peers as I growl, trying to get away from Alastor's strong grip to no avail so shouting to her instead.
"How about I show you who's pathetic by shoving a whole fucking-"
"Hey! How about a small in-person podcast?! I'm sure you all missed a good old radio broadcast, hmm?" He interrupts me, shoving me out of the way to get the attention off me and maybe calm things down a bit.
YOU ARE READING
LOSERS || Husker x Angel Dust x Original Character (masc)
FanfictionLiving at Cannibal Town is... well, it's definitely interesting? You get food, sure, but it's not really a safe place. So when Rio finds a flyer caked with shiny letters and rainbows talking about some "Happy Hotel", he can't help but say his goodby...
