Soulmates | Phan AU |

Nine; I Love You And I Miss You

Nine: I Love You And I Miss You

Dan;

Getting out of bed was a huge hassle for me today - but when isn't it? Maybe it was the fact that I had two weeks of high school left so I had just started to get lazy. All the stress and exhaustion had finally caught up with me so maybe that is why I struggled to get out of bed. When my mum had to come in and drag me out bed, this is when I realised that it was a serious problem. 

It was Wednesday today, this is the day that me and Phil sit in the back of the P.E hall and chat about everything on our minds for the duration of the two hour lesson. Wednesdays were usually fun but Phil hadn't been in the past two days and I doubted he would be in today. 

It was strange really, me and Phil would usually text each other all the time. Me and Phil were the type of friends that were inseparable; when we were apart we would constantly be sending texts to each other. 

My mind to spiral into dark thoughts of how maybe Phil realised how much of a loser I am and how he doesn't like me and has stopped talking to me for that reason. I was always one to jump to conclusions. Maybe that was my problem: I jump the gun too much. 

This was getting me no where. 

With a frown on my face, I closed the green messaging app when I noticed that my texts that I had sent to Phil had been read but not replied was honestly heart breaking. What had happened from Friday night to now for Phil to hate me so much? 

Maybe it was because of the talk we had about his brother. Maybe he was avoiding me because he didn't want to get caught, get thrown in prison like his brother. 

Slumping my shoulders, I walked through the gates and down the grey path towards the school building. I tried to take my mind off of things but every time I did, my thoughts would creep back to what I was trying to push away. Like an endless game of tug-of-war going inside my mind, constantly pulling me towards my dark thoughts while I tried to tug away from them. But of course, the other side was winning, I was too weak to give into the fight so I gave in. 

"Hey Dan!" Louise smiled at me, instantly grabbing my hand as she walked beside me. Everyone was none the wiser about what was going on, they all assumed me and Louise were soulmates. Luckily we have been able to keep our wrists well hidden. Thankfully this was our last year in high school and I wouldn't be seeing most of these people in college. Hopefully, by then me and Phil would have had all of this figured out. "How are you?" 

I smiled at her, I mean, how could you not? She was always so bubbly, it was impossible to not be happy around her. "I'm good, you?"

She told me that she was good too and as we walked into the school building, we stayed silent. The people around us in the crowded hallway, spoke and made enough noise for the both of us. However, my hand had started to become sweaty. Maybe it was because there was so many people around us and I was worried someone may see our wrists; see our lies. 

Louise must have sensed my uneasiness as she squeezed my hand. I turned to look at her and thanked her. 

"What for?" She was confused at my gratefulness, it was evident in her voice and her facial expression; her voice rose an octave higher, her face all scrunched up, eyebrows furrowed. 

"For being there for me, for going along with... this." I was looking straight ahead now but I could still feel her eyes looking at me, burning into my skin. "I am actually so glad that you agreed to help me with my stupid plan." 

Louise shook her head, she had stopped walking now, forcing me to stop too. "Don't be daft, Dan!" 

It was my turn to be confused. 

"I'm your friend, of course I am going to help you out!" She lightly slapped my shoulder, a shocked laughter escaped her lips. She was completely incredulous towards my gratitude. I was incredulous towards her being incredulous. "Now," She began. "Onto serious matters, have you heard from Phil lately?"

Shaking my head, I sighed. "No. I'm worried about him, I hope he doesn't hate me." Louise scoffed. 

"From that make out session you and him shared Friday night, I doubt he hates you!" Louise then began to continue, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "I mean, you don't kiss people you hate, do you?" 

She had a point but that still didn't ease my anxiety. 

I needed to hear it from Phil that he didn't hate me. Only him could put my mind at rest, which is why I decided to go round to Phil's house today after school. I had given him the space that he needed -well, if you don't count the twenty five messages that I have sent him- and hopefully he would speak to me then. 

He couldn't avoid me forever, could he? 

Before I could delve too deep into my thoughts, the bell rang loudly throughout the corridor. Signalling it was time to go to form. Since Louise wasn't in my tutor group, this was where we split up and this meant we had to kiss. 

To seal the deal and make our faux relationship look real to those around us. Whenever we did kiss, it was always a peck that didn't last longer than three seconds. Except this one time when we forced to french kiss by this boy called Chris whom was in our french class. It was awkward to say the least, especially because him and a few others were looking at us as we kissed. Thankfully as soon as it started, it ended as our french teacher walked in not long after. 

As her lips touched mine I couldn't help but compare them to Phil's. Louise's were too soft, they weren't rough and plump like Phil's. She tasted too sweet too, she was too girly, too this, too that. 

The fact was, she wasn't Phil. 

And as much as I liked Louise, she would never compare to Phil because she wasn't my soulmate. 

And I loved Phil whereas I only liked Louise as a friend. 

I love Phil and I need him but he wasn't here and I missed him. 

X

I didn't know how to end this lmao kill me. 

I'm sorry that this was so shitty, it's a filler really but the next chapter will be better. 

BEFORE I FORGET: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OVER 500 READS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK? THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE ALL LIKING THIS OMFG. I WANT TO MARRY AND KISS YOU ALL OKAY I LOVE YOU 

I am currently sat wearing my dan and phil shirt whilst I write this. #Phanaf

I still need to think of what to call this chapter.......

Once again, I love you all xxxxx