Soulmates | Phan AU |

Fifteen; It's all fun and games until anxiety strikes

Listening to Blurryface= perfect writing opportunity

Fifteen: It's all fun and games until anxiety strikes

Dan;

Frowning, I threw my phone on my bed. I heard it bounce off the bed and hit the wooden floor of my bedroom but right now I couldn't care less; it could stay there for now.

This was the reason why holidays should be feared, they are problematic. Yes, it may mean a rest and countless lie-ins until school starts up again but that means you don't see your friends five days a week.

When I say friends I only mean Phil and Louise. Although, Phil is more than a friend to me.

It had been three days since the holidays had began and I haven't heard from Phil since then. I had sent him countless texts, to which he had read but never replied. I would call him too but it went straight to his voicemail.

"Dan?" I heard my mum knock on the door before popping her hound round the door. She looked to my phone that was on the hard floor, screen first and then back at me. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

Ah yes, the question everyone was asked when they were obviously not okay.

Are you okay?

It was simple, yes but the answer was never simple. Of course, you just say 'yes' or 'no' and keep it simple just like the question but then that would lead to a web of other questions and before you know it, you are trapped.

You could say that you were fine but then that would lead to the previous question to be re-worded to: "Are you sure?"

Was I sure? Was I okay?

Was anyone ever okay?

There is always something else going on in people's lives, they all had that dark secret. The one that we guarded with our lives. No one could know. Ever.

And then that takes me back to honest answers-you could lie but that would lead you back to square one, lying is useless. I could tell my mum that I wasn't okay. That everything was far from okay and I wondered if things would ever be okay again.

But that would equal pity- I didn't like pity.

It aggravated me more than being asked if I am okay.

However, I shrugged and told her that I wasn't sure.

My mum frowned, closing my door behind her. She was stood fully in my room now, a sad look in her eyes and her arms crossed over her chest. "You can tell me anything, you know that?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I know."

My mum sighed. That wasn't the answer she wanted and I felt bad; I had disappointed her. Twiddling with my thumbs, I sighed, biting my lip to stop myself from crying. I didn't want to appear weak in front of her. My mum was always so strong, so brave.

I was the complete opposite of that and I hated it.

I wanted to brave and strong.

But I wasn't.

So that's why I sat there, sobbing over something so stupid and minute but to me, it felt like the whole world because Phil is my world. Maybe I was over exaggerating everything (like I always do), maybe Phil was busy. He never did this, so I am sure I would receive a text from him soon telling me how he was so sorry because he had something else going on.

Maybe his parents had taken him off on a spontaneous family holiday. That was quite a normal thing for the Lester's so I wouldn't put anything past them.