Soulmates | Phan AU |

Ten; Real Talk

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Ten: Real Talk

Dan;

The walk to Phil's house had never been so long, the streets just seemed longer. Maybe it was because I was over-thinking everything; my brain was moving too fast so I was moving too slow. It was stupid really but I was so nervous, nervous to see my best friend. Pathetic really. 

I couldn't help but think of all the possibilities of Phil's absence from school. One of them was that he hated me, hated me for putting him in such a position where he could end up like his brother. And if that was the case, I hated myself. I never wanted to pressure him. Oh God no. Another possibility is that he's ran away with his 'soulmate' Ryan. 

That way he wouldn't get into trouble and get thrown in prison. 

But Phil wouldn't leave me... Would he?

My internal monologue was cut short when I stood in front of Phil's door. It was like Déjà Vu. 

I clenched and unclenched my hands, letting out puffs of air through my mouth I tried to calm myself. This wasn't the first time that I had a near panic attack on Phil's door step and I doubted that it would be the last time. 

When I was just about to knock on the door of the Lester household, the door swung open. Phil stood in the doorway, his eyebrows were furrowed and he was frowning. Dropping my fist that was in mid-air back to my side, I smiled awkwardly at Phil. 

"Hey." 

"Dan?" He asked, "What are you doing here?" 

"I-uh... Well I, I mean we, we were wondering if you're alright." I felt bashful, like I had been caught mid lie. Had I done something wrong? Last time I spoke to him, he was fine; we were fine. "You know, since you haven't been in school and all." 

Phil nodded. "Oh." 

"I miss you." I admitted and I could already feel the blood rushing straight to my cheeks. 

Phil opened his mouth but then closed it again. For a moment I wondered what he was going to say but I couldn't dwell on that too much as we were interrupted by Phil's mother. 

"Daniel?" She called, walking out from the living room and into the hall. "Is that you?" 

I laughed. "Yes, Mrs. Lester. It's me." 

"How are you doing? Are you feeling better after Phil's birthday, Phil told me you felt sick." Mrs. Lester asked, concerned as if I was her own son. It was endearing really. 

"I'm fine now, thank you." I smiled. 

She then turned to Phil, hitting him in the back of his head. Phil groaned and let out an 'ow'. "What was that for?" He complained. 

"You didn't invite Dan in!" Se exclaimed, shaking her head. "Come in Dan! Do you want to stay for your tea?" She offered. 

I began to decline her offer but she waved her hand, dismissing me. "Nonsense! You are staying and that's final! Text your mum so she doesn't get worried. Now, you two go upstairs and I will shout you down when dinner is ready." 

I smiled, thanking the woman for her hospitality. Following Phil up the stairs, I began to wonder if Phil would still act as cold as he did before. 

Maybe he did hate me. 

"Phil?" I asked once we had reached his room. "What's wrong?" 

He sighed but didn't answer. At least not for a few moments. I was on edge, I was unsure if I could handle the tension any longer; the cold shoulder. I bit my lip as he turned to face me, his blue eyes-oh, how I could stare into his eyes forever- stared into my own eyes. 

"Don't do that." He said. 

I frowned, what was he on about?

"Do what?" I asked as I continued to chew on my lip. 

"That." He said again but this time he pointed to my lip which was caught in between my teeth. "It drives me crazy." 

"In a bad way?" He shook his head and I nearly screamed out loud. 

He drives me crazy.

There was another silence, he was still looking at me but his stare got too much so I reverted to looking at Phil's floor. It wasn't as messy as you would assume a teenage boy's room to be but it wasn't clean either. However, I was forced to look at Phil when he lifted my chin with his thumb and index finger pinched between it. 

It was intense and I felt like screaming too. 

"I miss you too." 

My eyes widened, was he being serious? "W-what?" 

"I know that I have been awol recently but..." He trailed off, sighing as he he ruffled his fringe. Pushing it back a bit which made him look hotter. If that was even possible. "I miss you, I really do and I know that I wasn't acting like it before but I do like you, Dan." 

Would it be alright if I just screamed right there and then? 

It would definitely be cathartic but I wasn't sure Phil would appreciate my outburst so I stayed quiet, making a mental note to scream once I was home, confined inside my bedroom. 

"I like you too." I smiled, grabbing his hand in mine I softly rubbed my thumb across the back of his hand. "No, scratch that... I love you."