I hope that one day Kayla reaches out to me again. It's just crazy for me to think that you give someone so much time and memories in your life and that person just goes away. Another birthday where she hasn't wished me a happy birthday. I cried my eyes out last year.
I used to think her little gestures were stupid, I never stop to think that the gesture she made was her trying to show me that she still cares. So I don't know if she's hurt that I went off on her the last time we talked or if she really just doesn't care about me anymore.
I just watched a TikTok video about this girl had a best friend of 17 years and the best friend cut her off because she dug into if the girl's boyfriend was cheating on her. And she talked to the girl. She was basically the messenger and the best friend cut her off. She mentioned something in her video about that everyone would basically think she needs to be over it by now because it's been three years. But I think that's bullshit. It's hard getting over this kind of shit.
It's hard moving forward when there's a piece of you missing trying to grab it back from the past. Another friend of mine from middle/high school is best friends with another mutual friend that we had but yet never gives me the time a day when I reach out. Even she wished me a happy birthday which was kind of out of character for her. Daniela.
Will I ever stop feeling broken inside? I just feel like some things I'm never going to move on from. But I need to remind myself that just because I think something would be great, doesn't mean it actually would. What if Kayla would actually give me the time of day? It doesn't mean things would be good. Our friendship could end in the same way as it did before... I mean you just never know.
One day I just hope that everyone that's ever meant something to me, will find out about it.
I hope they realize that they've meant a lot in my life and meeting them had an impact.
