Bucky Barnes Imagines Vol. 2

Unimportant Pt. 2

Ten months had passed since you left and Bucky hadn't been able to find a trace of you. Steve and Sam had been trying to help him find you, but there was nothing. It was as if any trace of you had been wiped from every system in existence. The three of them couldn't find any lease information in your name, your debit and credit cards were inactive, there wasn't a phone number listed in your name anymore, and they couldn't find anything regarding recent employment. Someone was helping you hide from him and Bucky had a pretty good guess at who it was.

Tony and Nat were the two people you trusted most and they were also the most skilled at helping you disappear. Tony was a self-proclaimed genius who could access any system he wanted and Nat...well, Nat could disappear and never be found if she wanted to. Bucky didn't have a chance of finding you when those two were on your side. He had tried pressing them for information, explaining why he acted the way he had and how much he wanted to apologize and make it up to you, but they maintained that they didn't know anything.

Bucky didn't sleep anymore. His days were punctuated with fitful periods of dozing followed by hours of trying to find even the smallest crumb of information about where you were. He had been placed on leave after refusing to go on missions and taking his anger out on anyone who even spared him a glance. He needed you to know the truth. You had left him thinking that you meant nothing to him and that wasn't true. The issues in your relationship weren't because he didn't love you anymore. It was because he was struggling with his own mind and he was too afraid to confide in you about it.

"Hey, Buck. Were you able to get any sleep?" Steve said, walking into Bucky's room with a cup of coffee in his hand.

Bucky hadn't been able to stay in his apartment since you left. Tony wasn't Bucky's biggest fan at the moment, but he agreed to let him use one of the empty rooms for now.

"That's a stupid question." Bucky snipped.

"Don't do that. I'm just trying to look out for you, Bucky."

Steve sat the coffee on the desk in front of Bucky, but he didn't spare Steve a glance. He was too busy staring at the letter you had left for him on the night you left. The paper was crumpled and there were small tears where Bucky had folded and unfolded the letter repeatedly over the last ten months. Bucky was losing hope and without even a hint from Tony and Nat of where you were, he was sure that he'd never find you.

"We're never going to figure out where she went. She could be down the road or in a completely different country." Bucky murmured. "It's over, Steve. I've lost her and there's nothing I can do to get her back."

"You can't give up. We'll find her eventually. We can try tailing Nat and Wanda again, see if it leads us to her." Steve tried to reassure Bucky.

"Wanda can read minds and Nat's a fucking spy. You think they won't know that we're following them?" Bucky scoffed.

"It's better than giving up. Y/n is your other half, Bucky. You can't just give up."

"Well, I have, Steve! She thinks I feel nothing for her. She thinks I pushed her away because I don't want her. I hurt her so bad that she fucking disappeared to make sure I couldn't find her."

Bucky folded the paper and placed it in the drawer of the desk then stood to face Steve.

"If Nat was willing, maybe she could talk to Y/n for you. Tell her why you were acting the way you were."

"Stop, Steve! It doesn't fucking matter anymore." Bucky yelled.

His red rimmed eyes glared at Steve. Even if Bucky found you, he didn't know if you'd want to listen to what he had to say. He hid things from you, pulled away, and made you feel like you weren't important to him anymore. He'd be lucky if you'd even spare him a glance if he ran into you again.