Love Letter

I Don't Care

"See you tomorrow, love you..." he bent and kissed her softly. His lips tasted of honey, tasted of love. She smiled. "See you tomorrow, dear..."

Tom stood for a moment. He was waiting for something, anything, a crumb of comfort. When it didn't come, he smiled gently and walked out, not giving away his sadness. As the door closed behind him, he sagged against the wall. She wasn't giving an inch. This wasn't working.

As if echoing his thoughts, Jenny walked out and patted his shoulder. "Come on, tea before you go. There's one thing left to try." She beckoned him with her head, and he shrugged and stood up. At this point, what had he to lose?

"Here - builders brew, milk and two." she passed him the mug, and they sat down in his second home of the relative's room. "Now. You two seem to be perishing on the rock of not communicating. I saw you, waiting. When she didn't say it, you just gave in Tom."

"I didn't 'give in' as you put it." he was a little taken aback at her brutal assessment, not angry, just surprised. She'd had the gumption to say what needed to be said. "I just don't want to push her. You said wait it out. I'm doing that." he sipped the tea and looked at her, his eyes giving away the depth of his sadness.

"No, you're giving in. Tom, you forget I'm a bit like Loki in Episode six. " she paused and smiled as his mouth dropped open a little. "Yes, I DO actually watch TV now and again! Now, for the avoidance of doubt, I don't mean I am a God who's about to become a tree." she winked at him, "I mean, I've been through this countless times. And, just like Loki, I've learned a little each time." she paused, sipping her tea.

"Now, you can tell her as much as you like, she won't believe you. Not..." she held up a hand, silencing the objection she could see coming like a charging rhino over the hill, "not because she thinks you're a liar, but because to allow herself to believe it will mean she has to admit she was wrong, that she can't do everything. She wants to be in control. She wants to be able to deal with this just the way she's dealt with everything in her life. She wants to believe she can save you because she can't save herself."

"That doesn't make any sense!" Tom knew it absolutely did, but he couldn't imagine - didn't WANT to imagine - how desperately sad and afraid she must be to even think like this.

Jenny was taking no prisoners anymore. There was no more time for that. "Tom, listen to me. You know it does, and you know, deep down what you have to do. Ignore her completely and just SHOW her you're in it for the long haul. Now, I'm NOT suggesting you make some sort of grand gesture, although they're always nice, I just mean, day in and day out. Be there. Like the proverbial bad penny. Turn up. Unfailingly. When she's feeling ok, when she's feeling crap, when she's ready to take on the world and when she's throwing her guts up after chemo. Be there, with the ginger tea, the cold flannel, and the warm arms."

Tom nodded, sipping his own now slightly lukewarm tea. "So you're saying I just let her say whatever makes her feel better at the time and completely disregard it?" he was more than a little afraid. "What if it makes her want me to leave permanently?" It was his one true fear.

"And you REALLY think she wants you gone, do you?" Jenny stood up with her now empty mug. "You REALLY think that she would let ANYTHING she does drive you away for good? Now you really ARE being dense, Mr Hiddleston. The LAST thing she wants is you gone, man. She clearly loves your very bones!"

"She does? She's never said it, ever." he sat for a moment, afraid to believe it.

"Oh Tom, you are an idiot!" she smiled and held the door open."Now, if you've finished your tea, I think you have some arrangements to make? After all, you're going to be far too busy getting her settled in tomorrow to do mundane things, like shopping and dog walking, aren't you?"

Not for the first time in his life, Tom was happy to be told what to do by a woman who clearly knew him better than he knew himself. This time, though, he didn't have to worry about her embarrassing him with stories of his childhood in return!!!

She opened the door slowly, expecting a mountain of mail behind it. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. In fact, not only was their no mail, but there was a strange smell. Not the 'oh God, I forgot to put the bin out' type smell. Oh no. This was... roses. Ali turned to Tom, who was bringing in her bag from the car. "Tom?"

"Yes, love?" His face was a picture of innocence. He'd picked her up at 10 am as arranged, waited for her discharge papers, and then driven her home like an egg in a cake. She'd laughed and told him he could actually drive at more than 30 miles an hour, but he'd shaken his head and steadfastly refused.

"Not a chance. What if you get a nosebleed? What if a dog runs out and I have to brake? What if it starts to snow?" He looked at her, a picture of contrite shock.

Ali laughed, "Well, if I get a nosebleed, it will be from boredom. If a dog runs out, it will probably beat us to the other side, and if it snows? Given that it's the middle of summer, I think we'll have more to worry about than the speed we're doing!" she giggled. This "grandad Tom" was hilarious.

His face crumpled into a grin. Her laughing was music to his ears. "That's better love. It's been ages since we laughed together like this." he took a hand from the wheel and squeezed her knee. "It's going to be ok, you know." he didn't look at her. He didn't phrase it as a question. He just stated a fact.

"What if it's not?" she said quietly. "What if... it gets hard?"

His eyes flashed with a devilment, and she snorted "Oh THOMAS you are a devil! You know what I meant!"

"Yes, yes, I did. And do you know something? I don't care. Not one bit. Hard is my middle name."

"Really? And here was me thinking it was William too!" she smiled. Maybe he was right. Maybe he would stay. She'd just wait and see. The proof was in the pudding. Oooooh, pudding? She was starving - again!

Now, thoughts of pudding put aside, she walked into her living room and saw the reason for the perfume. She gasped, tears forming as she couldn't believe her eyes. Every conceivable surface was covered in vases of roses. Red, white, pink, peach - all beautifully blooming.

Behind her, Tom walked in and slipped his arms around her waist, nestling his chin on her shoulder. "Now, how about that, then? Someone broke in and planted a rose garden!" he smiled and kissed her neck. "Like it?" he said softly.

She turned in his arms and smiled up at him. "Like it? I love it." she paused for a moment, looking deep into his eyes. She reached up and stroked his cheek, her thumb coming to rest on the cheekbone that launched a thousand fantasies. Tom held his breath. Was he finally getting through? Was she finally realising....

She whispered softly, her breath on his lips. "And... I... " There was a sudden knock at the door, and she looked away, distracted.

"Back in a moment, love. Hold that thought, don't move. I wonder who this is! Who else knew I was coming home today?" she walked away. Tom groaned and sagged, fate it seemed was determined to ruin his every effort.

"Luke! Oh my! And MORE flowers, how lovely come on in!" her voice floated in from the hallway.

"Yes, love. Luke. Who else!" he groaned, his teeth hurting from gritting them as he smiled a terse welcome. "Fancy, you turning up right.at. this. moment."

From the way he enunciated it, Luke got the distinct impression he might have mistimed his entrance. From the way Tom's eyes flashed with fire, he knew he had.