Love Letter

This was never the plan....

Tom was dumbstruck. His mind reeled as he stood, watching the small, delicate but determined woman now walking towards him.  It couldn't be!  It just couldn't....

Now, as they settled into Tom's suite, he knew to his delight he had been wrong.  Wonderfully wrong.

"Are you ok? You took such a risk for me darling!  You could just have phoned you know, or facetimed!" he grinned, not meaning a single word.  He absolutely LOVED that she had managed to come all the way out.  That the treatment had gone so well that she COULD come out.  Even after pneumonia, which she had fought off with the same determination as everything else that had befallen her.

"Oh well, if you feel THAT way!" she pretended to be in the huff, sitting on the large sofa with her arms crossed and her nose scrunched up in a scowl.  Only her eyes gave away the fact she was teasing. They sparkled with mischief.

"Awww, don't be like that kitten...." Tom grabbed her and began to tickle her. At first, she tried to resist laughing.  Keep up the pretence. She closed her eyes tightly and pressed her lips together as his fingers got to work torturing her ribcage.  It didn't last.  With a snort and a loud shout of "Noooo! Get off you devil, or I'll have an accident!" she wriggled to get free.

"Oh no my pet!" Loki's voice growled in her ear, "you are my prisoner and I will torture you as I see fit.  First with my fingers...." he tickled her again. "Then with my breath," he blew, whisper soft, into her ear gently making her shiver with delight. "Finally with my mouth...." he pressed his lips to her neck, just below her ear and kissed her softly, repeatedly.

She stopped wriggling and now melted into his embrace. "Oh Tom..." she moaned softly. "Oh dear God...." his mouth moved round to her throat, then her jaw, leaving a trail of soft kisses. His hands slid to her back, holding her close as he continued to tease and torment. Slowly, he pushed her back into the cushions and eased himself down beside her.

Slowly, gently, taking care not to hurt her, he pressed himself against her. "Are you ok my love? If it gets too much, just tell me. I only want to show you how much I still - will always - want you." 

She looked into his eyes and saw the love, the desire and above all, the care.  He had done it again, put her wishes and feelings before his.  She knew he would always do this, and she loved him all the more for it. "Darling, I may be sick, but I am not dead.  Not yet." she stroked his cheek as he took a sharp intake of breath at her candour. "and I am going to fight it every step of the way." she smiled and wiped away the tear that had rolled down his cheek at the mention of the "d" word. "Don't cry sweetheart, there is nothing to cry about. " she kissed him, tenderly at first, then with more urgency. "Make love to me Tom, make love to me like there is nothing in this world that will ever come between us. Like we were born to be together."

"There isn't and we are.  Now come here little one." Tom growled as he pulled her to stand with him, "you want proof that you are very much alive and VERY much my very own little kitten?  Let me show you...." he scooped her into his arms and carried her through to the bedroom.

Gently, he laid her on the bed.  She lay and looked up at him as he undressed and lay down with her. Taking her by the wrists, he moved her arms so that her hands were above her head.  "Do not move them my Pet" Loki growled in her ear and she nodded. "Words my Pet, use your words."

"Yes....my Prince" she whispered with a smile.

"Good." 

Slowly, he kissed her, his tongue probing for access to her mouth. She granted it willingly and he tasted her, driving her wild as they battled for air. She moaned into his kiss and arched her back against him, trying to gain a little relief from the surging desire he was building. "Lie still little one.  Lean back again, let me love you...." his mouth concentrated once again on her neck and shoulders, this time leaving little nips as he covered her skin with his warm mouth. His hands undid her clothing, until she lay completely exposed. He took a moment to look at her, and despite the shock of seeing exactly how much weight she had lost, he smiled. "Beautiful" he murmured and kissed one breast softly. "Breath taking" he added, kissing the other, making her squirm and forget she was supposed to be still. He smiled wickedly. "Still kitten, still or I shall prolong this until you beg me to stop." He raised an eyebrow "but if you think of begging anyway, that will not work.  Do you understand."

She nodded, almost unable to speak. "Words kitten, words...." he reminded her, taking a nipple in her mouth and sucking it between his teeth.  She groaned, arching into his touch. 

"Yes my prince" she eventually managed to croak as her body ruled her head.

"Good girl. Now, you deserve a reward.  Sit up for a moment." She complied and he removed the blouse and underwear from beneath her.  Then he gently pushed her back down and commanded simply, "hips".  She lifted them and in a moment, the rest of her clothing was gone. Again, her gaunt and fragile appearance tore at his heart, but he was determined not to show her. "So beautiful my love..." he kissed her softly, meaning every word.  Despite everything she was, to him, truly beautiful inside and out.

Slowly, gently, he made love to her.  Worshipping every inch, giving her heaven over and over until she panted and moaned uncontrollably.  Finally, exhausted, she lay back and held out her hands to him. They lay together, nestled in each other's arms. "I love you." she whispered softly into his chest. "I will always love you."

Tom burst into tears.  Sobbing hard he held her to him.  The fact she had come half way across the world when she was sick?  The fact she had gone to the trouble of organising a surprise for him when she could easily have concentrated on herself?  The fact she wanted him, and him alone, to reinforce she was still a beautiful woman, a very much alive beautiful woman? It made him feel overwhelmed by love and emotion, and very very guilty.  He should have shown her how much she meant to him a long time ago. He felt so guilty, so unworthy.

"Oh Tom! What's up darling? What did I say?" She sat up and pulled him to her, cradling him in her arms. "Shhhhh love, it's ok."

"It's so not!" finally managed to control himself. "I have never loved anyone the way I love you. I have never loved anyone with the intensity and the passion and the need that I have for you.  In not telling you, in not showing you, in letting you do all this for me, I have let you down." he began to cry again. "I should have told you long ago, I should have said something long ago.  Now?  Now I know I can't.  I am nowhere near worthy of you Ali.  I never will be....." 

As she looked at him, she had the awful feeling this was very much backfiring.  This had not been the plan AT ALL.