Love Letter

Homecoming...

"Careful, don't bang the door... watch her head... no,  not like that, here... let me...." 

"Oh Tom! Calm down will you?" Luke sniggered and looked at his friend. "I have held a child before and I think I can manage to negotiate a doorway without the bubble wrap approach ok?" 

Tom flushed and smiled. "Sorry mate, it's just this is the first time I've had her all day myself and if anything happens Ali will KILL me!" he shrugged and sat on the chair, still nowhere near relaxed enough to actually touch it. "Ali's been so tired and withdrawn this week, I think she just needs a little time to herself.  She seems so down all the time.  Emmy's even picking up on it.  I feel so bad for Ali, but what can I do?" he shrugged. "Maybe some time away today might have helped.  She was meeting a friend for coffee.  I want her to see she isn't just 'mum' any more.

As Luke sat down, his God-daughter cradled in his arms, Tom almost lurched forward to catch her.  He caught himself in time and they laughed again.

"I honestly never thought I'd see the day.  Neurotic, absolutely neurotic!" Luke crowed softly, stroking Emmy's little cheek as she slept.  He looked up and smiled, sharing a moment with Tom that they both would treasure.  Best friends now bonded even more through the tiny bundle of loveliness currently snuffling her way through her third hour of snoozing.

"You know, when I look at her, I can't imagine what life was like before she arrived." Tom said softly, his voice catching in his throat. "It feels like we've had her forever." 

"Oh I can." Luke said with a sly grin. "It usually involved cups of tea and hobnobs....." he winked and Tom laughed loudly, making Emmy stir, her little eyes opening and focussing up on Luke.

"Now look what you did!" Tom said with an air of exaggerated martyrdom, "Now I have to make YOU tea and get her another bottle!" He put the back of his hand to his forehead as he leaned against the doorpost. "A father's work is never done!" 

"Let me know when you start then and I'll feel sorry for you! Now, it's still milk and two - get on with it Hiddleston!" Luke ordered him good-naturedly into the kitchen. Turning back to Emmy he smiled down at her as she gurgled and screwed up her tiny, as yet blue, eyes. "So Missy, you and I need to have a little talk.  As my God-daughter there are a few ground rules. 1. Never underestimate the power you have over your father......" his voice trailed off as Tom walked into the kitchen, smiling proudly.

He was just pouring the tea into two mugs and raking in the fridge for the hobnobs when his phone rang.  Swearing quietly at the interruption, he pulled it out of his pocket. Unknown number.  He ignored it and stuffed it away.  As he walked back through, mugs in one hand, biscuits in the other, he forgot all about it.  He'd never, ever, forget the sight that met his eyes.

Standing at the window, Luke and Emmy were having a serious discussion about the relative merits of birdies and doggies.  Aided by their very own Woof-meister Bobby.

"So you see, birdies are great, they tweet - hear that?  But doggies?  Well doggies are just the best - aren't they Bobs?" he looked down and Bobby woofed gently, attracting Emmy's attention.  She was still far too little to really be aware of much other than sound and vague shapes, but she knew Bobs' woof anywhere.   "And this woofer will protect you with every furry hair on his head.  Won't you Bobs?" he crouched down and carefully, the pup sniffed his Little Pink Hooman. 

From the minute the mewling and squalling Little Pink Hooman had come into his life, he knew he had to protect her.  She seemed to make his Mum and Dad happier than they'd ever been -apart from the time he'd sat up and begged to order in the park making them almost cry with joy - so she was his glorious purpose.  He had to look after Little Pink Hooman and he did.  From those pesky birds, those nasty awful leaves and especially from those scary tree branches that rustled in the wind and made Little Pink cry.

Now, he sat as she grabbed onto his fur and cooed.  The softness making her smile.  Well, not really, she was too little they said, but what did THEY know.  It was his fur, why WOULDN'T it make her smile.

Tom paused as he took in the tableau and, as had become the norm over the last few extremely emotional weeks, he cried. Luke glanced up, his own eyes suspiciously moist.

"What are we like eh?" he laughed as he stood up and crossed back to the sofa.  "A couple of old women!" he put Emmy in her Moses basket and she snuggled her teddy, going back to sleep without the bottle now protruding from Tom's back pocket.

He took the mug from Tom and they sat down, each savouring that special first biscuit of the cup.

"Mmmmm, better." Tom murmured as he stuffed another away.  Luke nodded.

"Much better." he sipped the tea and instantly spat it across the floor.  "What the BLOODY HELL is in that?" he said, looking as if he'd been poisoned.  Tom instantly tasted his own and flushed scarlet.

"I think I might have used the wrong milk for our tea..." he said gingerly, screwing up his face.

"Wrong milk..... OH MY GOOD GOD!" Luke burst out laughing. "There is NO way we're telling Ali about this.  We'll never be left in charge again!" 

"Agreed!" Tom nodded emphatically, "Give me?" he indicated the mug, "I'll try again...." As he left the room, Luke shook his head and smiled.  Turning to Emmy he whispered "I don't know about you, but I have to admit, it wasn't all that bad really.  Just like teasing your Dad, but our secret ok?" he winked at the baby and as she snuffled and closed her eyes again, he could have sworn she nodded.

A few minutes later, the second attempt seemed to be much more palatable and they sat reminiscing over old times, discussing new adventures and generally planning a future that neither had envisaged in a million years.  So much so in fact, they didn't hear the door open and Ali walk in.  She'd not actually been for coffee - she'd cried off with an excuse.  She couldn't face anyone just now.  Instead she'd gone for a solitary walk and then got some food shopping, feeling comfort in a routine task she could do without feeling a failure.

As she walked down the hallway, she passed the door and heard the conversation.  She paused, silently listening, the smile on her face slowly melting away.

"So that's the bottom line, it'll take a year.  You'll need to work on it full time of course but that won't be a problem will it?"  Luke sat "off camera" as it were, she could only see Tom.  He shook his head.

"Dear Goodness no.  Ali will understand, it's not as if she can't cope. I won't be a million miles away." he smiled and sipped his tea, "after all, it's not like having Emmy means I can't still do this. She's a baby, not a inconvenience."

He turned and saw Ali standing in the doorway. "Darling! You're back, Luke and I were just talking about you.  The kettle is probably still hot.  Want a cuppa?" he stood and walked over.  She took a breath.  What could he possibly mean?  A year? He wanted to be working for a whole year?  

And leave her with a screaming child that didn't want her?  Wanted her father morning, noon and night?  That saw her mother as nothing more than a feeding source?  What was he thinking?  She'd never cope.  She just wanted to hide and never come out. The last week had been the worst, after coming home Emmy had simply screamed every time she'd picked her up.  Tom seemed to have the knack.  She 'd tried, God knew she'd tried. Now she'd accepted Emmy hated her.  This was too much.  She wanted to scream and cry.

But she didn't.  She just smiled and nodded.  "Yes please. I'll just put the shopping away first if that's ok?"

She walked into the kitchen and put the bag down on the counter, Tom following on to make the tea.  Completely oblivious to the tears, completely oblivious to the fear.  But not completely oblivious to the dozen eggs that landed on the floor, one by one as Ali dropped them on the tiles.

"Don't drop the baby Ali." *crack*

"The baby's crying AGAIN Ali." *crack*

"I'll settle her, you're tired Ali."*crack*

"She hates me Tom".... this time there was no crack.  This time the egg was caught in a large hand.  A large manly hand who's pair was currently gathering Ali into the tightest hug of her life.

"Oh darling, it's ok... it's all going to be ok....."