Love Letter

Once Upon A Time...

Ali stirred and sat up, yawning and rubbing a still-closed eye with the heel of her hand. The other hand reached to the side automatically to feel for.... oh. Empty.

Empty? What was the time? Dear GOD, it was 11.45 am! She'd slept ALL morning? With a resounding groan of frustration, she flopped back onto the pillows. Tom had left for his meeting with Luke hours ago.

She'd fully intended to get up with him and prepare breakfast. She needed to get on with things. She refused to be an invalid all the time.

Tom had obviously crept about so as not to wake her. Half of her was frustratedly annoyed. The other was melting into a little puddle of heartfelt goo!

Pulling on some clothes - she'd shower later - she padded down to the kitchen. Bobs lay in the sunshine on the kitchen floor, chewing a bone and merely looked up, wagging his tail in greeting. He loved his mum, but he loved a juicy bone just that bit more.

As she turned to put the coffee pod in the machine, she noticed an envelope propped up against it. Knowing her routine so well, Tom knew it would be the one place she'd definitely get it.

Smiling, she placed it to the side, made her coffee, then wandered, cup and letter in hand to the living room.

Bobby decided that gnawing was more fun with her company so trotted through with her, bone proudly in his mouth.

Ali curled up on a sunny spot on the sofa, dog at her feet. She took a long swallow of coffee and put the cup on the side table.

Taking the envelope, she ran her finger under the flap and tore it open. Settling back, sun warming her, she began to read. She wasn't worried, just curious.

March 4th.......

"Ali, my love, are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin....

Once upon a time, there was a lost soul. He wandered through a life that, although bright and full of people who wanted to be part of his world, lacked something. Something he didn't realise, till that moment, he'd lacked. Someone who saw him. Really saw him. His dreams, his hopes. His humour, his sadness. His capacity for love.

Then, one day, a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart sent him a message. To be brave, to be bold, to take a chance, just like she had. To love and be loved in return.

So he did. And that was how you, my darling Ali, showed me the kind of love I could only have dreamed of.

Unconditional love, which, until that moment, I thought would never be mine.

Contentment, that I thought would never be mine.

Purpose, that I thought would never be mine.

Now, as I write this, I want to say so much more than my meagre vocabulary will allow. I want to tell you how much I love you. How I will hold you and care for you no matter what befalls us.

I know this time round, you are more scared than ever. This time round, you are struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. When you said no more, it broke my heart. Not because I would lose you, although that is something I just can not contemplate, but because I had failed you. I promised you unending support, love to sustain you forever, the strength of my hopes and dreams for us both. Somehow, and I hope this letter will do it, I need to reassure you that I will do better. Try harder. But ultimately? Be exactly what you want me to be, whenever you want me to be it.
I am truly blessed to have you in my life, and if we are blessed with a family, I will love and cherish our child - or maybe children?

That if fate is not that kind, then I swear to support and cherish you in whatever you decide os the right thing to do. Adopt? Foster? Remain childless and simply turn us into the worlds best Doggy Parents? Whatever we do, as long as you are happy, my love, then I, too, am happy.

Essentially, my glorious purpose, as our mutual friend would say, is to be yours. To make every day YOUR day. To make every moment count. To make every memory as happy as it can be. We only have one shot at this life, I will forever marvel at the jackpot I quite honestly won when you wrote to me.

You are, quite simply, amazing. I want to spend the rest of my life showing you - and the world - that.

I love you, Ali. I will always love you. Whatever happens, if our time together is decades (which I pray for) or not (which I curse against) I will only be able endure the pain and sorrow that will eventually come, as it does to all those who love as deeply as I do, simply because of you.

None of us know when our time is up. Cancer or a big red bus? It makes no odds. When we go, all we can do is pray those who are left behind smile when they think of us.

I, my darling, cannot help but smile.

Let's play our game again, shall we? I'll change it just slightly, but you'll know. I promise you'll know.

....She was my noon, my midnight, my talk, my song....

You still are, and always will be, my life's one true love.

I will always be your Tom xxxx"