Wait ed. (Carla-Billy's Story)

Confessions to My Bestest Boy

Billy has been calling me non-stop for 10 minutes now. Can't he take a hint that I don't want to talk?

But that was fast... at least he realized immediately that I was no longer there. Or maybe, he's calling just to tell me that he has urgent thing to do, so I better not wait. Either way- those are both improvements.

When my phone miraculously stopped ringing, I grabbed that opportunity to make a call.

"Carla", Miggy immediately answered on second ring.

"Miggy! Are you done with your papers?", I asked, my voice an octave higher, trying to mask that slight pain that I was feeling.

"Everything ok?", didn't I just say that Miggy has this special power to read me.

"Yeah... everything's good", I lied.

He was quiet for a while, so I checked my phone to see whether the call just got cut off. Then I was surprised when I heard movement from his end, and him asking, "Where are you? I'll come and pick you up"

"Ah... no need to pick me up. I'm at the main building, sa steps"

"What are you doing there? And why are you not home at this hour?"

"Billy might look for me at home", I said, and I knew he didn't miss the hitch in my voice.

"Stay where you are, Carla. I'll be there in ten"

I smiled when I heard what he said. "No worries, Miggy. I'm used to waiting"

He was quiet for a while. Then he said, "I'm not him", then he hanged up the call.

I don't know why, but those three words somehow made me cry.

I don't think it's Billy's fault.
I probably was just too stuck with our past, taking all his promises seriously, when I should have just read the signs- be focus on the present and re-align and re-adjust my expectation. I probably won't be this disappointed and this hurt if only I did those.

It was not even ten minutes, when Miggy came, and he has cans of beer with him.

"Mag-iinom si Miggy?", I asked, amused, because I've never seen him drink before.

"I do drink, Carla. Just not that often", he said, as he opened one and gave it me, then he took the space beside me.

"What happened?"

"Nothing... nothing happened", I said, averting my eyes and looking in front of us instead.

I felt him looked at me, then he took a drink from his can.

We were sitting in silence for a good ten minutes, when I looked at him and said, "I think I'm done"

He looked at me, nodded his head, and I'm not sure whether he knew what I was saying. When he didn't show any indication of leaving, I smiled. He knew what I meant, and probably he's waiting for me to say more. But I didn't have it in me to share more than that.

My phone suddenly rang, and "My Bestest Boy" is on the caller ID. I knew Miggy saw it but he didn't say a word. I didn't even have the heart to correct that.
My Best Boy, silly!

I took the phone and accepted the call.

"Where are you?"

I will miss him.
Somehow, I still want to hope that there could be something more for us, yung tipong I'll just be extra careful not to be too stupid so I won't feel hurt that often... at least, in doing that, I might still have a shot to that childhood dream with him.

Haha! Ang hirap ilet-go yung feelings na tinago mo your whole life... but I guess this is for the better.

"William Benjamin!", I said, smiling. I will miss teasing him.