Wait ed. (Carla-Billy's Story)

Unofficially Official

"Patricia..."

I looked at him and smiled. "I didn't know you still have that", I said, referring to that voicemail.

"To remind me that you're waiting", he answered, as he went inside the car, and sat at the driver's seat, but not showing any intention that we're about to leave.

"That, I did"

"You never call me after that"

I looked at him, and touched the scar on his eyebrow. "I never want to call you after this"

"I was in a hurry, you know?"

"I know... you should have just allowed me to go with you. I can help carry your bag and Aya's"

"And I would never allow you to do that"

I was quiet for a while. I was itching to open this can of worms, thinking whether I should tell him. We have never bridged this topic before. I just realized, we have a lot of things in the past that we tried to hide because we're afraid that merely asking a thing would break the bond that we have. So we pretended to go with the flow... as if we were not affected of those small things that hurt us big time.

I looked at him, then on autopilot, tell him the things I've been longing to tell him, while gauging his reaction to this girl who's suddenly bringing up the past.

"That's the first time I was jealous of someone... the first time it felt that you chose her over me"

"I knew..."

"You knew?"

"You're not that difficult to read, Patricia... especially when we were younger. You have this look in your eyes- you wouldn't admit it to yourself but your eyes were saying it all"

"And yet, you still chose na iwan ako"

"I can't look after you if you keep on pushing me to bring Aya home. I saw the indecision in your eyes that time- would you put yourself first, or would you rather be a good friend? And yourself would always lose. You'd always choose someone else"

"Because I was scared that if I choose me, you'd break my heart by choosing her. So, I'd rather break my own heart. Ganun ako katakot sayo"

"Ganun ka kawalang tiwala na ikaw yung pipiliin ko lagi lagi"

That made me smile.
He never told me that before.
I have a lot of heartaches I hid from him.
Now I was hopeful that he has answers to all of those Carla's sleepless nights.

"I just asked you to help Aya get home because she scratched her knees. I didn't tell you to leave me behind. I found a compromise. I could be a good friend, while staying close to you. But regardless of how much I insisted to just walk with you, you just shook your head and asked me to wait. You'd come back, you said"

"And I did"

"That you did, but with a gauze on your forehead"

"I fell down from my bike while I was in hurry to come back and pick you up"

"I know how to take care of myself"

"Kaya pumanik ka dun sa bakod sa school"

"Kasi dumating yung mga aso ni Aling Pasing"

"And..."

"And I don't know how to come down after. I was angry at you, you know?"

"I know"

"I was crying while I was trying to figure out how to jump from that wall"

"Which you managed to do on your own"