31 : Shock

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Meerab's pov

I sat on the bed with a thud when he signed the divorce papers. Again betrayal by the same person and this time he didn't break my heart but left taking my heart with him. I clutched the bed sheet tight in my hands and looked at the ground to control myself from yelling in pain. I want to yell at him asking why he did that to my heart again

He again left leaving me alone with this loneliness. This is what I deserve. I realized that I am a bad omen that's why the people I love leave me. My parents left, my love left and now I know this family will also leave me. But this time I will leave them before they could hurt me again. This time I don't think I even have the reason to live. Last time I had my dreams to complete and wanted to complete them before dying but now for whom I am going to earn money? For myself? A lifeless body who has nothing left with her

The same man used me and this time I didn't even know how to react. Warm tears escaped my eyes but I wiped them instantly and closed my eyes tight controlling the tears. No, I will not cry for him. Not for a betrayer like him. I don't even know why my heart is not able to accept that he can do this again. But I have to accept that he left again, he was not even going to tell me if I didn't ask him.

"You said you are mine. You sent those chits claiming you as mine but you were never mine Murtasim. No husband do what you did to my heart" I accused looking at the divorce papers lying on the table. Years before I left him and this time he left officially declaring our divorce. I wanted to divorce but never had any idea that I would feel my soul leaving my body with the realization of our divorce. Now we can't do anything as everything is finished.

Again these tears rolled my eyes and I looked upwards to stop them from falling. I can't cry for him again and again. I should have said that I was not even serious. Uff why did I forget what uncle said to me? That guy deserves hell for using me twice.

"Ya Allah esi konse gunah kea jo uski saza yeh mil rahi hai. I have money, and success but not someone to call mine. Will someone love me ever? ", I asked God and my thoughts came to a halt when I noticed my phone ringing. I picked up the call and heard the woman who reminded me about the case and asked when I would be coming. I said within an hour and smiled seeing a message from Saba. She wished me the best of luck.

If am in contact with someone from Karachi then it is Saba. I didn't even save anyone's number on my new mobile phone as nobody mattered to me. Now I will remove more people from my life starting from this family as somebody they will leave me. Someday they might question my existence. They might throw me out of their house saying if I couldn't stay loyal to my family how can I stay to them? This is my biggest fear and know that will come.

I decided not to take cases anymore and I will kill myself after winning the cases which are pending. One is today 2nd is on the next week and the other one will be after a month I guess. If the judge doesn't postpone the case more. I feel irritated with this but at the same time, I wished to be a judge. Do I deserve to be a judge? A girl who has no one in her life, how can she make decisions for others? How can she forgive and make decisions when she will think 100 times before making a decision? I am the girl and I know I deserve nothing but pain. I thought Murtasim was here and he would be here with me forever, if not as a husband then as a good friend but I don't think he deserves to be my friend even.

I hurriedly got up and changed into my formals getting ready for the case. I set my hair into a bun again hating the fact that I still looked like the same life before. I wish I could change my face and ruin my beauty as that's the reason he was attracted to me. He completed his desires and left again. I went towards the drawer and pulled out the files to read them once before going out as I have a habit of checking all the proofs before going out. On checking them I went to Hamza's room to find it empty, the whole house was empty, and wondered where they all went in the morning. I left for the court by locking the home as I didn't trust the security enough.

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