Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I Don't Need Your Authority

            Flustered with every word that I heard just escape my mother's mouth, I made a run for the door. My car was still cool considering I was just in it less than ten minutes ago. Without looking twice I started up my baby and took off, not knowing where I would go.

20 minutes later I subconsciously arrived at my one of my favorite places—the reservoir. There was an old stone church that overlooked this huge lake that I would always hang at to help relax. A lot of adults think teens just like to party and drink...though they aren't wrong, they often forget about the crowd that just seems to sink into nature and get lost in the beautiful colors of the sky. There's a lot more to life than a bottle of whiskey and a dance floor...I can vouch for that.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't waiting for Billie to appear by my side. It was the perfect moment for him to accompany me. Maybe my mom and Danielle were right...maybe seeing Billie was a bad thing, but if it was, I didn't want to be right.

"Billie," I called out into the air. I was all by myself, so I didn't feel too weird for talking to myself. "Billie are you there?"

No reply, of course. I shouldn't have been too surprised.

"I know I can't see you, but if what you said is true, you're still in my head. You're still with me, and that's enough for me."

Was I about to start a conversation with the air? Yes, yes I was.

"Maybe I'm a little fucked for just sitting here and talking out to you as if you're going to hear me, but at this point I'll do whatever I have to. I really want to talk with you, but I can't sleep yet, so I need to tough it out. I stood up for you today, Billie. I got shot down two times but I stood up for you. No one is going to make me believe you are fake. It's just a bunch of lies. I believe you Billie, I believe what you said. I promise I'll stay by your side."

Hoping that was some sort of summoning message, I began looking around to see if Billie was hanging out by the rocks below me or behind my back. But he wasn't. Not this time.

"Maybe I am sick," I doubt myself. "Maybe I was sick, and I'm getting better."

"Are you okay over there?"

"BILLIE?!" I screamed in excitement before even looking behind me. My body filled with warmth and happiness. "I'm so glad you're here!" It was going to take me a second to get myself out of this window sill of the church, but as I tried I began talking to Billie. "I don't know if you being here is a good thing or bad thing, but I'm just really relieved to know you're here. Last night was one of the greatest nights of my life and I've come to realize that if in order to see you I need to be sick, than it's completely worth it!"

I finally got myself lodged out of the window and turned around. I jumped off and looked up at one of the two entrances to see if he was there.

"Billie?"

"Uh, hello miss. Are you okay?"

I looked in the direction of the other entrance and sighed in doubt.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I thought you were...uh, my friend."

"I didn't mean to catch you while you were chatting with yourself, but don't worry, I don't judge. I sorta do the same thing when I'm here on my own."

It was a man around the same age as me, more or less, with short brown hair and a voice that was akin to Billie Joe's. He was really tall and muscular, but for the first time in my life, I wasn't attracted to the random nice man engaging in conversation.