Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Stay the Night

      "What's wrong?" Billie asked with a tone of rejection.

"It's just, I feel like...all of this. All of this is wrong."

Billie slowly got off of me and his face just whimpered like a puppy.

"I feel horrible doing this. Like...I want to, you have no idea how badly I want to...but I can't stop thinking about Adrienne and your kids and how young I am compared to you. At first it fueled me, but then it just sort of crashed and burned...and I'm scared. I'm scared."

"You don't have to worry about all of that—"

"I know it's a dream, trust me, I nailed the thought of it into my head. But still, I just couldn't do it. I fee so awful. I'm sorry."

Billie hung his head low in disappointment. He snagged his pants off the ground and began to put them back on.

"I mean, we just had our first kiss a couple nights ago. That's a rather big jump."

"I'm sorry," Billie quickly responded.

"Why are you sorry?" I ask.

"The way you phrased it, you made it sound like we were in a relationship. We're not. I'm sorry for treating it like that. I'm sorry for getting carried away. It's just...I miss her. I miss Addy. And I know for a fact that I'm treating her like shit out in the real world. I wish there was something I could do to stop that."

My heart was aching drastically. Yes I was happy he respected my decision to stop, but now he made it sound like I was just being used as a toy because his wife wasn't around. That sounded worse.

Billie got up and took a walk over to my tank and tossed it at me.

"Put this on," he orders.

I followed with shame. Everything felt so awkward now. Part of me wished I hadn't stopped. That I kept going. Maybe we would be closer together than we already were. Did I fuck things up?

"Fuck!" He yelled out.

"What?" I ask in worry.

"Now I need to fucking jerk off."

I grinned at his response. Well, at least I had him going? He had me going too. Oh my did he. Oh my can I just....can we fool around without going all the way? No...restrain yourself Layla.

"Don't say that," I smirk.

"Why not? Does it make you uncomfortable or something?" He remarks sarcastically.

"I'm still horny too you know, it's just...I couldn't go through with it."

Billie smiled at the fact that we both had a thing for each other.

"Well I'll tell yah one thing, you have a lot of fucking control and a clean fucking conscience."

The way his lips perked up when he smiled so seductively. The way his eyes widened when he got satisfaction. FUCK MEEE. (That goes both ways, children.)

"Thanks for understanding," I appreciate.

"Thanks for cooling me down, I'm sorry, if I scared you...I truly got carried away."

"I don't blame you," I take in a deep breath, throwing on the rest of my clothes. "You're just kinda lingering in my head, desperate for some touch," I wink.