of blood and lies ; dystopian

16

Karro and I stared at each other, unspoken and tense. He sat a few inches from my face with his knees drawn to his chest and his back against the bed. The tray beside him was untouched except for the small water pouch he had emptied.

I shifted my head against my pillow. I didn't look away from him. He was everywhere. In my nightmares, in my dreams, and my waking life. He'd taken control over me, without having to say a single word.

When I closed my eyes, trying to drown out this room, it was him I saw. My match. The other half of my cruel, wicked soul.

His face looked soft this morning. He had a warm glow about him; despite the cold stares and frozen words he'd spat, he had always felt warm. He was comforting in some terrible way.

It'd been like this for days, and it'd been like this for the days before those days. Unspoken words wandered around us, thousands of questions on the tip of my tongue. I knew he had questions too. I wanted to speak before he did. I wanted to ask about this place, him, and how he felt.

I cleared my throat and forced my voice. "I have a question."

His fingers tightened into his pants, eyes boring a hole through flesh and to soul. I hated speaking first, but I knew I needed to. Karro, even when he was happy, never spoke. I needed to speak first. He'd stare and wait, as he currently did.

"When?" I whispered.

One word. A word I'd dreamt of about asking for years when I was alone. Now that it came from my mouth, it felt unnatural. It should have been left in the back of my head.

Part of me did not want the truth. I didn't want to know what had happened that opened Karro's eyes. Or, why he'd kept entertaining our relationship when he knew he just wanted to hurt me.

I'd spent too much time thinking of it. I thought maybe it was the day he washed my back and read the tattoos; I'd questioned if one had led him to discover that I was not who I said. Or, the day I came home sobbing and shaking. I wanted to leave, so, so terrible. But, I kept my thoughts silent as he held me.

Karro's lips parted and he ran his tongue along his teeth.

"You'd think with all the years alone you'd figure it out by now." I flinched as his voice broke through the thick air. The thought of that place, the isolation, and everything made my stomach drop. It made me sick that he knew how long I'd been there. How cruel it had been.

I shook my head and pulled my knees to my chest. He watched the motion and his gaze slipped to my neck and cleavage.

"I told you my truth, I wish to know this," I said. I hadn't told him all of my truth, but enough.

His jaw ticked. "I owe you nothing."

We stayed silent for many breaths.

His eyes lingered on my breasts for most of it. When he pulled his eyes back to mine, he spoke. "Our first anniversary."

My breath hitched as I recalled the night. I'd arrived to dinner with a black eye and Karro had been tense all evening. I'd believed it was because of the black eye, but no. It all made sense now.

My blood heated.

Before our date, The Blood had been infiltrated by a group of unknown soldiers.

I propped myself up and narrowed my eyes. He followed me through the movement. "It was you. The--"

I looked away. He had knocked me unconscious. He had given me a black eye. And, after it all, we ate dinner together like two fools. We'd fucked like fools after, too.

I was the fool. Karro knew by that point.

Fuck.

We'd been together for three years. Karro knew and stayed with me for two years. He watched me fall foolishly in love, knowing he only planned to break me. To shatter me.

My mouth hung open.

Karro smiled. Hard. "How does it feel?"

I didn't respond. I gaped and stared down at him. He knew. He watched me fall in love with him. He fucking knew. He'd tricked me. It all felt too terrible to accept that two years were as deceitful as his one year had been.

It all had to be a joke.

I frowned as Karro tilted his head, his smile widening. The pearls of his teeth made me shudder. "Karma," was all he said.

I rolled over, blocking him out through the day and night. It was our first anniversary I dreamt of.