of blood and lies ; dystopian

28

present

A week had passed since Karro's sickness.

In a matter of days, he was back to his pessimistic, smart-mouthed self.

We could hold a conversation longer, but it always ended in me crawling into bed to sleep through the tension. I swore I'd slept more than I was awake.

I leaned against the wall beside the bathroom. I crossed my arms over my stomach. I looked to the bathroom and then to Karro.

Unfortunately, there was no door to the bathroom.

He'd be asleep by this point. I never had to worry about him being awake when I was naked, washing my clothes.

"I need to wash my clothes," I stated, looking at the ceiling. I dreaded this. I'd have to wait hours until my clothes dried. It'd been so much easier in the beginning, when we slept opposite schedules to avoid each other.

I grabbed the thin blanket from my bed. I could use it to partially cover myself, but if he wanted to see beneath the sheet, he would see beneath the sheet.

"Okay?" Karro stared at the ceiling, hands propped under his head.

"Okay?" I replied, my tone as sarcastic as his. "Can you not look?" Did he think I was just telling him of what I planned to do? Communication was never our strength.

Karro's lips curled into a cheeky smile. He turned his head in my direction. I flinched when we made eye contact. I wanted to throw something at him for looking at me like that.

"It's not funny. You are usually asleep by now." My cheeks heated. This was not a conversation I wanted to have.

"I'm not laughing." Karro smiled harder.

I scowled and made my way to the bathroom, the blanket in my arm.

I'd already prepared the cheap soap and let the shower run with cold water. I just needed to take off my clothes, though the thought horrified me. It once didn't, but now?

I braided my hair into two sections, tying the bottom of my ends into a knot. I slipped off my pants, working them under the water first. He'd seen me in my panties multiple times so far. That wasn't my worry. My worry was once the rest came off.

As taboo as it sounded, sex was our love language. The vulnerability of it all.

"Do you know what I think?" I asked, ringing out my pants. I applied the soap and continued the action. I'd yet to feel his eyes on me; I was in full view of his bed. If he wanted to look, he could.

"What do you think, Naga?"

I squeezed the pants harder. I hated the way he said my name.

"The next time the door opens, I think we should walk down there and kill them all."

Karro scoffed and the bed creaked.

I hung the pants on the edge of the metal sink. I slid off my panties next, working them under the water. I decided I couldn't control him. If he was going to look, he was going to look.

"You think we could actually kill all of those gunned soldiers? With a scalpel? I know you are not that stupid." I looked up at the ceiling, grinding my teeth. He said the word gunned as if I were stupid and hadn't noticed they were armed.

"I will just to prove you wrong," I started. "Besides, I'd rather die trying than rotting in this room. Plus, I'd be content with dying if it meant being able to skin that cunt alive."

"Who?"

I fiddled with the hem of my tank top. I looked over at him again; he was still set on the ceiling. It was the last piece of clothing defending me from being completely vulnerable. I wrapped the blanket around me and threw the tank top into the water.

It was easier to be naked in front of him when I wasn't me. I never felt vulnerable then; it wasn't me. It was me now. That terrified me.

"The nurse, I mean." My knuckles went white thinking of her. Them. Karro had a reason, I reminded myself. He was trying to trick her. "I'd be okay with death if it meant cutting her skin clean."

"You are jealous." Karro let out a breathy laugh. "Naga, the apparent stone-cold bitch, is jealous. Fascinating, isn't it?"

I wanted to stab him. I could hear his smile.

"Shut up," I hissed. "I assure you if another person sticks me and pumps me with something black, I will kill them too. This has nothing to do with you nor who you chase to rendezvous with."

I stood from the small bathroom floor. I draped the soaked clothes over the sink. It'd take hours for them to dry, while I was stuck in the dainty blanket. The Blood had to be laughing at my situation.

I made my way to Karro's bed.

He didn't look at me.

I sat on the floor, directly behind where his head currently lay. The furthest I could get from his eyes was directly behind him; this had to be some joke.

"Don't look at me--"

"Fuck, Naga. I'm not a teenage boy. I'm not going to look at you until you are on your knees begging."

My breath caught. He said it as if it were going to happen. The words confused me and I knew I'd focus on their meaning for the remainder of the day.

"Oh," I replied, leaning my head back on the edge of the bed. I was a few inches from his face, though we looked in opposite directions.

"It's okay," Karro started. "To care, I mean. I hate you. Loathe you. You attempted to trick me. You killed my family. And, you are a fucking cunt."

Karro shifted, his head now tilted against the pillow. I flinched. I wasn't expecting his breath to run along my face.

"But I still cared. Even after it all, I'd murder anyone who looked at you the wrong way. Brutally. I still would."

I looked away from him and pulled my knees to my chest. I gulped. I wanted to kill that nurse for looking at him as she had.

Karro wrapped his hand around my chin, pulling my head backward against the bed. I winced from how the position strained my spine. My neck was on full display, vulnerable to him. He kept the back of my head pinned to the bed despite this; I arched my back, trying to relieve the tension building.

"I do miss when your tongue was dull, though."

His fingers slid down my throat. I felt like I should be afraid; like I should not be worrying about him seeing how tight my nipples were becoming through the sheet.

"Karro," I choked out. "You said you weren't--"

"I didn't look at you naked." I focused on the dimple that deepened when he said this.

My heart pounded in my chest seven times. I focused on each beat, trying to bring my attention away from him. Everything felt heavy, electric even.

After the seventh beat, we both indulged in the strain. I leaned up, as best I could, and he leaned down, swallowing me whole.