of blood and lies ; dystopian

22

My tongue was numb. When I moved my head, my vision lagged and blurred.

I'd forgotten how fast my body responded to alcohol. I didn't drink enough of it to build a tolerance.

Before being sent to my apparent timeless damnation, I'd been trying to lay off on the alcohol. It always made my tongue too loose; the Murthaa and I both agreed it was too dangerous for me to be drinking around Karro.

I wanted to laugh. I wondered about her reaction to this all; she too, the woman I once believed to be all-knowing, was unaware that Karro had figured it out. None of it mattered. The late nights, the quiet footsteps, and the extensive file studying. He knew.

If the Murthaa saw me now, she'd have me beheaded. Drunk, with my enemy.

I lay on the cushioned floor, my feet propped up on the edge of Karro's bed.

I wasn't sure when I'd taken off my pants, but my baggy sweatpants were thrown lazily across the room. I was in a pair of black seamless bikini panties and a tight ribbed tank top. He'd seen it all too many times to care.

A thin layer of sweat covered my skin. Alcohol always made me hot, though Karro's close proximity only catalyzed it.

I smiled, thinking of the Murthaa. I wanted her to see me now. I wanted her to feel as stupid as I did.

"You even have a different smile." His voice was a slur of words.

Karro sat close beside me, his back propped against the bed, inches from my feet. He'd been staring at me for a while, but I kept my eyes on the stars peeking through gray clouds.

"Laugh, too. Impressive, isn't it?"

I'd perfected every detail regarding my false life. Down to the laugh and smile. For hours, I'd practiced how feminine my laugh would sound around him. I matched it with an innocent, toothy smile.

Karro leaned his head backward, resting it against the bed. His face was close to where my bare calves rested. So close, I could feel his breath on me.

"You were very good at what you did," Karro admitted.

My lips twitched. I gasped, grabbing my chest. "Are you complimenting me? The Karro? Impressed by my skills?" I rolled my eyes and returned to the stars.

"Shut the fuck up."

I pulled my lip between my teeth and gnawed it until I tasted blood. "I think this entire situation is hilarious."

"How so?" Karro asked.

I fiddled with my fingers, mustering the strength to look at him. His brow had a few drops of sweat forming, most likely from the five bags of whiskey he'd consumed. His cheeks had a tint of pink beneath his tan skin.

His eyes were nearly hooded shut. They were open. Barely. But, I could feel them on me.

"It's karma," I continued, words falling from my mouth as they would my ass. "Like, Macbeth-level karma."

He closed his eyes and let out a snip of laughter. I flinched, taken aback by the sudden noise.

"So, you're a literature scholar now as well?" Karro asked.

I rolled my eyes. Was he fucking illiterate?

"It's a common theme in a common piece."

Our eyes caught for too long. Karro's smirk slipped back into a frown.

I frowned, trying to look away from him. I couldn't. I could see him. I could see the man from so many years ago. My stomach felt terribly ill. Small bats were inside of my belly and a fire had been lit inside of my core; they were frantically trying to scatter.

Karro.

I looked away.

I couldn't breathe.

"I'm going to bed," I mumbled, pushing myself up.

His fingers wrapped around my wrists, preventing me from moving. I narrowed my sight toward the fingers restraining me in place. He felt warm.

"What?" I bit out, looking back up at him.

His gaze flickered between my eyes and lips.

"Nothing," he said, releasing my wrist.

We stared at each other for a few more seconds, like we hadn't been staring for the past few weeks. Everything about him, and this, made me ill. If I killed him, this feeling in my belly would settle and I would feel better; I'd be able to think straight.

I crawled into my bed, pulling the covers over my face. I attempted to sleep off the disgusting and vile thoughts running through my head. 

AN

this might be omitted, idkkkk i kinda like how it shows her avoiding how she feels so hard.

what we thinking??!?!?

my tooth hurts