The Impeccable Scar | COMPLETED ✓

F O U R T Y

VANYA

Feeling the warmth of his hands on mine, I remembered the first time when we met. I noticed something in his eyes, that familiar pain and since then, I felt a strange connection to him.

And now that I know about him, I believe that my instincts were never wrong. His eyes held a story of his shattered dreams. He may not realize now but I am sure, someday he will find out his dreams.

"Why are you looking at me like this?" I asked, hiding my blush.

"Nothing." He smiled.

Eh?

"You want?" He pointed to the small ice cream truck.

"Sure." I smiled back at him.

He quickly rushed to buy the ice creams and trust me I waited impatiently for him to come back because I missed holding his hand.

As soon as he returned, I quickly held his hand again and took ice cream from him.

This is the best moment I lived so far. I never felt any sort of romance but with him, it comes naturally. Like fireworks and fireflies and all the bright stuffs that could make my life beautiful. He makes me happy and whenever I am around him, all I do is to smile.

I wonder what future holds for us? Or will there be any future of us?

And that's when reality hit me.

I never told him about myself.

Staring at our hands, I wonder if he'll still hold my hand like this?

Restlessness clouded my senses; I don't want my heart broken any more. I want him to be the reason why my heart smiles.

But Advik is different, right? He will understand me.

Or not?

I looked at him, he was lost somewhere in his thoughts but there was this constant smile on his face.

I always made it clear with myself that in the end I'll be left with heartbreak but now things changed. Feelings went on to become stronger enough to bear the heartbreak. Everything comes at cost but I don't want to be with him at the cost of truth.

I am not a coward. It took me years to accept who I am and I am not going to hide myself. Advik has to know everything and even if he decides to leave me, I'll never blame him. And for that, I'll never blame myself too.

I feel something very strong for him, I don't know how to name my emotions but he owns my heart.

All of sudden, he kissed my temple and passed me a goofy smile. Maybe he will not leave me. Maybe he'll understand. Maybe his feelings will remain same. Maybe we will have our future.

I don't know. I so want to become selfish and hide everything from him but I don't want to hide myself.

I should tell him.

"Advik."

"Mhmm."

"I have complete androgen insensitivity syndrome."