The Impeccable Scar | COMPLETED ✓

F O U R T Y - S I X

ADVIK

Its been a week since I talked to her for one last time. our last hug failed to give me closure. I want to hate her but after reading her notebook I just couldn't. She suffered both physical and mental trauma and I made her suffer even more. I confessed my love for her while clearly stating that she doesn't deserve to be with me but I don't have any other choices. I couldn't be with her. I am not brave enough to accept a girl with androgen insensitivity. The girl who would've been a male if her hormones worked properly. She carries a dual identity and people can accept a partner with multiple personality disorder but not androgen insensitivity. Because when it comes to gender, I would never wish to have my partner as someone whose gender is not fixed.

I was about to fall asleep before my phone buzzes with a notification. I had no wish to check it but I then I thought maybe it was a mail from office so I clicked open the mail.

I noticed two things.

First, it wasn't from my office.

Second, it was from Vanya.

From- vanya234@gmail.com

To- adviks01@rediffmail.com

Date- 6 april xxxx

Dear Advik,

I am writing you this mail because there are many things which were left unsaid by me. also, I don't feel like using whatsapp for this.

Remember when I told you that someday I'll tell you about your dreams. Maybe the day is today.

Advik you say that you don't have any dreams but your dream is to earn money. Have you ever tried to think that why are you so bothered with your job? its because you earn less. You want money and there's no harm in dreaming of it. You always blame your father that he destroyed your life but let me tell you something, you would've thankful to your father if you got into IIT and earn a decent salary package. Then you wouldn't have said that you hate engineering. You blame your father for your failure. But that's okay, your failure wasn't actually the one. You tried to crack the toughest exam and so what if you didn't get success in clearing it. You tried your level best and that's what matters the most.

But let me give you a little advice. Please don't hate your father. I don't know about your complete story but your father must've his own reasons. Accept that parents can also be wrong. I know he never gave you chance to think of whom you wanted to become but let bygone be bygone.

Advik, when you told me that you love me but can't be with me. you know why I replied a thank you ? because your one sentence gave me the reason to think about my new dream. You gave me new dream. I am leaving the city and going to someplace from where I can start my new life and pursue my dream. The dream to make people aware about androgen insensitivity. I am female because I believe so and no one could say otherwise. I am going to make my identity popular so that one day if some boy falls in love with me then he doesn't need to say that he can't be with me. I am going to educate people that just because my genetics is different that doesn't mean I am not a girl.

Also, I have transferred the papers of my café to your name. I no longer wish to continue it because now I have dreams greater than to run the café.

I am giving you a chance to complete your dream. Take care of my café and make it a brand where you can earn a hell lot of money. Accept the fact that your dream is to earn money.

Lastly, I just want to say that I love you too.

Vanya.