Choices | Kim Namjoon FF |

Chapter Twenty-Six: Chae-rin

Namjoon isn't drunk, but he definitely can't be driving home after the number of drinks he's consumed with my brother. It wasn't my intention to meet up with my brother. In fact, my brother had invited me out and I told him no. However, when Namjoon and I started talking about the way we have sex, I needed an escape. I'm a little ashamed to admit that I was being turned on by the thought of us fucking and I knew that I couldn't control myself if we had continued. I'm too sore to be doing what we normally do.

"Chae-rin," he murmurs from the bed, leaving his arms wide open.

I let out a small smile at the view of him. Namjoon is freshly showered, his hair slightly damp, bare-chested in his pajama bottoms, smiling at me. He always looks so good after showering. There's something so comforting about him, especially when he's just about ready to go to bed. I feel my heart flutter and it's not the first time that this has happened lately. It's starting to scare me.

I know this feeling... I know it well but I want to be irresponsible. I want to deny the possibility because...well, he's my best friend. There's no way. We've known each other for so many years now and nothing has happened ever. Did the lines become this blurred the moment we decided to sleep with each other? I can't have feelings for him. No, I don't have feelings for him. He's my best friend. That's all.

"Chae-rin," he mumbles again, this time in a whinier voice.

I come back from my thoughts and my smile returns. "What's up?"

"Come here." He sits up so he can reach my hand and pulls me down to the bed. "Let's go to bed." He doesn't wait for me to respond before pulling me into his chest, wrapping his big arms around me.

My heart begins to race and I have to catch my breath. Stop it, Chae-rin! Stop it. I shrug out of his hold and clear my throat. "Namjoon, I need to shower still." I sit up immediately, creating a very much needed rift between our bodies. "You go to sleep first."

He frowns, sitting up again, before crawling on his knees to me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I tell him. "I just need to shower first."

He nods and sits next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Okay," he whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

I almost jump out of his hold, standing on my feet. "Go to sleep," I say, grabbing my clothes and rushing to the bathroom.

I think I know what it is. It's because he is so touchy! Before this whole arrangement, we never touched like that before. Well, obviously. I also mean, though, I rarely hugged him and he rarely hugged me. We never got in each other's personal bubble. Sure, we'd sit next to each other, sometimes our outer legs pressed against each other if we absolutely had to, but it never went beyond that.

It's become more than obvious that we need to talk. I need to figure out what the hell is going on. Ae-ra cheated on him. Does he still want her? If he does, does that mean that I still need to be his fake girlfriend? Does that mean he's still going to...give me different experiences? Speaking about fake girlfriend, I feel like that also became messy. Not only are we acting like a couple when we're in front of others, but we're also doing it in private. Like cuddling, for example. Or the make-out sessions. Or the hand holding. Or the small, affectionate kisses...

When I exit out of the bathroom, fully dressed, I see Namjoon is still awake. He's under the covers and his eyes turn into crescents when he spots me. My heart does back flips and I want to slap myself. Why is this happening?! I can't ruin this friendship. I don't want to. I just...we need to-

"Chae-rin, come here," he tells me, his arms open again.

Fine, it's our last time. No more after this. I nod and move into his arms as he encircles me. He takes a deep breath in and sighs, almost as if he's relieved to have me in his arms. This is a dangerous game I play. I should draw boundaries, but I just can't seem to get enough. Starting tomorrow, though, I will. Gosh, I'm going to miss this...