Choices | Kim Namjoon FF |

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Author's POV

Chae-rin can't help but panic as she sees Namjoon sitting before her. She knew it was abrupt and slightly chaotic to call him over on a Friday night to talk about this, but she had been mulling it over the entire week. She thought she could ignore it. She thought she could push it down, but the moment they had that intimate night together, she knew... Oh, she knew.

Unbeknownst to her, Namjoon also had a feeling. He's known for a while that maybe, just maybe, he's always had some sort of feelings for her. Sure, he said it was because she's his best friend, and it's true, but he knows there's something more to it. It doesn't help that Sunday night she and him had sex but it was different from all the other times they had been intimate. It was sweet, tender, and filled with hidden emotions. He knew that there were loving emotions involved that night, especially on his part.

Then, the next morning when he had woken up and thought he forgot something? It didn't hit him until he kissed her goodnight after dinner that he realized the thing he felt like he forgot, the important thing that he couldn't shake, was that kiss. He had forgotten to kiss her goodbye and that's why his day was so off.

Chae-rin sits on the sofa, just staring at him, shaking her leg. She doesn't know exactly how to bring up the topic organically. It's not her strong suit, in general. She will most likely just blurt it out to get it out and over with. She knows she needs to work on her delivery when it comes to talking, and she's trying.

"So," Chae-rin begins, "look, I just need to talk about this. Ae-ra cheated on you. The question I have is, do you still want her back? Because we agreed that we would fake date for two months, and that's quickly approaching." Her heart begins to race in her chest as Namjoon eyes look into hers.

Namjoon's mind is going a million miles a minute. He doesn't know if he wants to win Ae-ra back or not. He's confused because while he knows he still loves Ae-ra, he is deeply hurt by her and what she did. He feels betrayed by her. Then, there's also Chae-rin. He knows that he's starting to develop feelings for her. That scares him because he doesn't want to mess up this friendship. Chae-rin is so important to him and he can't lose her.

"Joon?" She places her hand on top of his, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he breathes, noticing how his heart flutters at her touch. "Uh, I don't know, Chae-rin. I don't know if I want her back."

"That doesn't help," she mumbles. Chae-rin knows that if they continue playing into this fake relationship and having sex, she's going to fall for him. She can't fall for him. Namjoon is her best friend, for crying out loud!

"There's two more weeks left," Namjoon says. "Let's just wait until then, yeah? The wedding rehearsal thing is this Sunday. So, let's just start with that."

"Okay," Chae-rin nods, reluctantly. She's afraid that she won't be able to control her emotions for much longer. She knows she can't be denial forever. Eventually, the feelings she has been shoving down will come to the surface. "Joon, I just want to make sure that I'm helping you as much as possible... I feel like you've helped me so much and I have barely done anything for you."

"That's not true," Namjoon says. "You have helped me in more ways than one." He knows that she means being seen with him at events with Ae-ra present, but to be honest, he could care less about that. He appreciates that Chae-rin has been there with him, has shown him affection and intimacy when he needed it most. He doesn't realize it yet, but he loves being in her arms. No, he loves having her in his arms.

Chae-rin sighs but can't argue with him. If only she knew that Namjoon was thinking the same thing she was thinking. She also loves being embraced in his arms. Her most favorite night was last Sunday night when they had such an intimate night together. Then, she fell asleep in his arms, feeling safe and loved. "Okay. I don't want you to think I'm using you like that."