OUTLAW || ATEEZ x Reader

18

As the evening was starting to turn dark, the boys had gone back into their roles of being with one another. You could see how at ease they all felt now that they were all together. The four boys who were staying in the city had always been a bit tense. They were worried about their comrades and thus it created a stale environment full of depression. It was clear they fed off each other's energies. They needed every single one of them in order to be content.

While they knew they were all together, you had noticed one person missing during dinner. The boys didn't seem to care enough, at least not until they had all finished and Wooyoung noticed how many plates there were to wash.

The boy was mad, stomping around as he made a bowl for the captain. He was about to scold the man until you spoke up, telling him you would take the meal. The boy grumbled to himself, shoving the food into your hands as he went back to cleaning.

There wasn't anywhere you could knock so you had just called out that you were going to enter the tent. When you got a response, you moved the tarp to the side and passed through. You knew he wasn't doing anything, seeing as it was just the main tent where they would gather for meetings.

"I brought you a bowl of soup." You gestured to the plate. "Wooyoung got mad that you didn't come out."

Hongjoong had been looking over some papers at a desk, glancing up at you. "He'll live." He hummed. When you set the plate down in front of him, he gave a nod of his head and moved to begin eating. "Thank you."

You tried not to be nosey and look over the papers he had, so you opted to look around the table, trying to find other things to occupy yourself with. Hongjoong placed the spoon down into the bowl as he kept his eyes on you.

You look awkward to be standing there next to him. He wondered why it was you hadn't just walked out after giving him the food; however, he figured you wanted something if you were the one to do the delivery. He decided to make things less suffocating by being the one to start a conversation.

"Are you okay?" His question caught you off guard, looking at him with wide eyes.

You licked your lips as you thought about his question. "At this moment or in the past two weeks?" You asked, looking down.

Sighing, you felt like you knew exactly what it was you wanted to say. You looked up at Hongjoong, meeting his eyes. "I'm relieved." You breathed out. "That you are all okay and safe for the most part. I wanted to come find you all right away, but the boys told me I had to wait. Time went painstakingly slow. It felt like torture to not know how you all were."

Hongjoong turned to give you his full attention, one leg lifted over the other as he got comfortable in the chair. "I'm sure you weren't the only one worried." He told you.

"So you all have said." You laughed softly. "Thank you." You suddenly spoke up, looking at him with kind eyes.

"For what?" He frowned, eyebrows pinched together.

"Keeping the others safe." You smiled. "I know you don't like me much, but I appreciate you." Hongjoong looked at you like you had grown an extra head.

He had given you no reason to like him. No reason to really even think about him. He hadn't really spoken to you much, but somehow you appreciate him? He knew that you were different from what the others had said, however now he was just a bit skeptical.

"In fact, after all this time, I think you're an inspiration. What you've done with the boys—how you've kept them together for so long. They speak highly of you."

Hongjoong hummed as your feelings now made sense. A small smile grew on his face as he thought about his friends. He didn't realize how much his leadership affected them so much. He knew they spoke about him, they always spoke about each other. But to have them speak about him in such a way that made people see him as an inspiration had him wanting to cry.

After so long, he knew they were much closer than a lot of other gangs. He was glad to have reached that kind of level of friendship. He had tried so hard to keep them all together, it seemed like that paid off. They trusted him so much and he didn't want to lose it.

Looking over at you, he knew that they were starting to care deeply for you. If he was to ask them to leave you he knew they would, but at the cost of some of their own happiness. He had never seen the boys become so enamored with someone so quickly. Now that he was actually having a conversation with you, he could see why they would be.

"I can't remember a time when we made friends that lasted a long while." He expressed. "They come and go after finding out what we do. I've tried my best at keeping them together, but sometimes I fail to do that." He let out a deep sigh, pursing his lips as he had just expressed an insecurity he had.

Your lips slowly pulled up into a smile at his confession. You were excited to get something from him after never speaking more than two words to him. "Everyone has their differences. Even all of you. I'm sure it is tough to do what you do." You comforted him.

Hongjoong pursed his lips. His jaw clenched as his face suddenly looked at you appalled. Here you were speaking your mind and somehow he confessed something he held deeply to you. It bothered him to know you were able to do that with him. He had hidden so much from others, even his closest friends, but all you had to do was tell him that you understood him and he opened his mouth.

"Why are you like that?" He glared.

"Like what?" You didn't seem affected by his glare, though you did raise a brow at his change in attitude.

"Like you know what to say to get people on your side." He clenched his fist. "What more do you want? You already have the others worried. Why speak to me like you understand me? Don't you know? We've killed men. We are criminals. Why associate yourself with people like that?" He stressed.

"I never said I did." You immediately retorted, face turning stoic. However, he watched as you licked your lips and suddenly looked down.

"When Mingi saved me, I thought it was going to end for me. I had jumped to save that girl but at the cost of my own life." You had an expression of thoughtfulness as you recalled that day to him. He listened intently to you, knowing that something like that wasn't a nice experience to relive.

"It made me realize all the regrets I had in life. Instead of feeling scared, I felt so angry with myself for not noticing sooner the life I led wasn't one I would have wanted. I had a mental breakdown after Mingi turned up, but these past few weeks made me realize that the day I found you all was the day I started to see the kind of person I wanted to be."

"Sure, at first I thought you were all criminals and scumbags, but after getting to know you all things changed. In the eyes of the public, you are criminals and outlaws. But to me, you're the people who saved me and opened my eyes. That's worth more to me than anything."

He didn't know your story, just as you didn't know his. There was a lot that you were in the dark about and Hongjoong wondered why it was that you didn't ask about it. The boys had explained that you were a very understanding person who trusted her intuition about people. Any sane person would try their hardest to stay away from people like them, but here you were staying with them in their camp.

There would come a day when the boys would want to grow up and find their own ways, but for now Hongjoong wanted to keep them together for as long as possible. If that meant keeping you at arms length, then he was willing to put his group on the line. At least the line that would lead them to you.

"You shouldn't be reckless." Hongjoong told you. "We won't always be there to save you."

Your lips pulled over your teeth as you grinned at the man. "Says the outlaw." You chuckled. You got up to leave the tent, turning back to look at the man. "Besides now we're even from when I didn't tell anyone you were in town all those weeks ago." You teased.

"You're a menace." Hongjoong scoffed, rolling his eyes playfully. "You'll fit right in." He took a sip of the soup to hide the fact that he had just acknowledged you as part of the group.

A soft look cast over your features as you smiled softly. "Thanks, Captain."