I'LL MISS YOU

Take her Home.

I've felt light headed all day and Karters been trying to convince me not to run all day but I've got to be ready in 20 minutes.

I'm in a nice lightweight dark green button up with a black tank top under it.

I finish uo brushing and cleaning up Bullet.

I braid his main and braid his tail putting in a Red and Yellow ribbon just incase.

I finally put on his pretty red serape saddle pad and his saddle. I do the cinches just enough so it doesn't slide right now.

I put on his regular leather breast collar that has skulls stamped into it.

Along with the matching skull bridal, with red serape bit coveres.

I don't kid when I match things, and I do a diffrent color most the time.

Today's red.

I put on his red serape bell boots and sports boots, and tightened his cinches before getting on.

My head spins as I get on and nausea takes on, I breath deap and my head sets straight again.

I sigh and straighten, and open my eyes.

"Hey you good?" Karter asks setting a hand on mine.

I nod "Yep, peachy." I tell him and smile.

"I've got to go, don't loose Dewy like I did." I tell him with a small laugh.

He laughs and goes and sits down on the bleachers with the stroller and Haze.

I watch him walk over and sit before, I turn and make my way to the arena.

Everyone's warming up now.

I walk and trot both ways with a small canter, before we start.

Bullets antsy, more than usual before a run at the house.

I know it's his first tike back running in public, but he's acting weird.

He makes out a weird throaty noise before hunching and-almost-bucking up.

He does it again, and again finally getting both legs up and jolting me forward.

The nausea comes back in a wave like a smack to the face.

The other girls stare at me, like I'm insane-fair point though.

I'm jolted forward again.

Bullet continues, to buckskin up evry two to three minutes or so till it's are turn.

We make it down the alley and I feel eevyerthing coming in waves again, the feeling I had when they said Lilly was dead, the feeling I had when we took that fall, evrything.

I tense up.

I can't do it, it's diffrent at home and diffrent when I'm on another horse.

But here evryone would see it happen-again-and I would loose my favorite thing again.

I toughen up and push the thoughts back.

I've got to do it. If not for myself or Bullet for Grandpa.

I promised him I wouldn't give up and .ake it at least to the, PRCA.

I breath in and out and the nausea push back and I let him go.

Bullet tried forward for the the first barrel, he takes it smooth and heads for the right one.

He tucks a big much dut doesn't tip the barrel, thankfully.

He heads for the third and finally barrel turning it sharp but smooth.