☆ Creek Oneshots

Exorcise Him!

A/N: This idea has been rotting in my brain but I've been too lazy to write it. I finally got the motivation to finish it all in two hours. Enjoy 🦖

Ages:
Pastor Craig: 21
Imp Tweek: ???

Narrator POV:

Youth Pastor Craig worked a simple job at a local church in South Park. His co-workers were Scott Malkinson and Rabbi Cartman.

But one of his specialties that no one, not even his family knew was that he was an exorcist, and he was pretty good at it. He was often hired in secret by creepy leaders and ritual performers to get rid of evil spirits or demons.

One day, a tall figure let himself into Craig's office while he was doing paperwork. "HEY! WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD COME IN HERE?" The pastor shouted angrily.

The mystery person took off the hood to reveal his identity. Craig squinted his eyes to get a better look at the person in the dim-lit room. It was Kenny McCormick. Craig sighed in relief, glad that it wasn't Scott or Eric coming in to snoop on his secret work. "Oh, hey Kenny. What's up?"

Kenny pulled about fifty dollars from his pocket. "I know about your secret business, pastor," he said, rolling up the dollar bills as he continued to talk. "Normally, I wouldn't blow fifty bucks all at once but I'm desperate." Craig listened, intrigued, although he was somewhat concerned Kenny might tell his boss about his business. "I'm listening."

"There's this demon that's been haunting an old building for the past eight years, and me and the boys have plans to turn it into a night club. We need it out of there or I won't make this money back." Kenny extended his hand to Craig so he could grab the money, but swiped it away after he grabbed only two paper bills.

"Ah, ah, not so fast. Some now, some later. Take care of this for me and you'll get your full  pay." Craig huffed, stuffing the twenty dollars in a drawer, which contained other earnings from his work.

"I'll get right on it." Craig said, standing up. Kenny gave him a paper with directions on it and smiled. "Please have this done by the end of the week." Craig looked at him, thinking, "pathetic," but didn't say anything and only nodded. He didn't normally get paid so little for his jobs but since Kenny was a close friend, he was willing to make an exception.

- First Day on the Job -

Pastor Craig woke up and slammed his palm on the top of his alarm clock to stop the beeping. He yawned and slogged out of his bed. He said his morning prayers, ate a hearty breakfast and got into his car.

Once he arrived, Craig observed the exterior of the building. It wasn't as bad as he had pictured. The paint was chipping here and there, the windows were shattered, and there were vines growing everywhere. But the building wasn't dirty or swarmed with gross insects.

He assumed it was safe to go inside. There were assorted noises, but mostly from the birds who had taken the abandoned space as an opportunity for a home. He couldn't blame them though, because as torn apart the place was he had to admit it was very beautiful.

The pastor slammed the door behind him, unintentionally causing a loud noise and for the frail building to shake. Just then, He heard a loud screech and something very large fell from one of the upper planks placed high upon the withered rooftoop. Craig looked down, almost screaming.

It was what looked like an imp, but with many humanoid features. It was obviously unconscious from the high fall. Craig took this chance to observe it's appearance.

Upon closer observation of his figure, he found out the creature was a male. He was shirtless and had fur growing up from his crotch and all down his legs. He had sharp red horns, probably pointy enough to pierce skin. He had wings too, but they had so many holes throughout them that he probably couldn't fly, most likely being the reason he couldn't save himself from falling. Small goat-looking hooves were at the bottom of his furry legs instead of feet.

Craig kneeled down next to him and touched his head, carefully avoiding his horns. He had striking blonde hair, yellow like the sun outside. Assorted freckles covered his face, which looked very human.

Craig was lost in admiration for him and forgot that he was unconscious. The imp's eyes darted open and he shrilled in surprise, kicking the pastor with his hooves while still lying on his back. He flipped himself over, jumping on all fours and scattered away.

Craig blushed. He really did forget that that... thing ... was what he was supposed to get rid of. He mentally punched himself for simping for a literal demon.

Craig tried to look for the critter but couldn't find him. He figured since he had all week to get rid of him he would just get back to it tomorrow.

- Second day on the Job -

Pastor Craig completed his regular morning routine and got in his car.

He arrived at the building where he spotted the imp sitting on the roof peacefully. Craig didn't want to disturb him so he just walked inside and used a ladder to join the creature on the roof.

Craig crept up behind him and silently sat down. The imp jumped out of surprise but sat back down nervously.

"Hello." He said.

Craig was also startled, unaware he could speak English. "Oh hi. My name is Pastor Craig. Or just Craig." The creature furrowed his thick eyebrows and frowned. "Oh. You're the boy from yesterday." Craig looked down, ashamed and guilty. "Ahh, sorry about that."

"It's okay. I was just scared and hurt from falling." He sighed. The pastor looked in his direction, "Do you have a name?"

"Tweek."

Pastor Craig smiled. "I like that name. It's unique."

Tweek giggled and smiled back. "I- um, pastor, can I tell you something?"

He nodded, and Tweek leaned over to whisper something in his ear. Craig blushed so hard. He could feel Tweek's hot firey breath go down his neck. "I've never had anyone touch me the way you did yesterday." Tweek drew away from him and looked down, kicking his hooves.

"Y-you were awake for that?" The pastor asked, flustered. Tweek simply nodded, his sharp claws digging into the damp wood. "I'm really sorry." Craig whimpered.

"It's okay..." Tweek looked back at him. "I kinda enjoyed it." Craig felt his blood rush down to his hips. He tried to cover it by crossing his legs but it only turned him on more. Tweek glanced over to Craig's tense face. A pink tint formed across his face and he placed his hands on Craig's until they were fully interlocked.

"Do you want some help with that?"

Craig nodded very eagerly. He felt like shit about it because he was very sensitive and was barely exposed to anything sexual. Seeing an extremely attractive imp-human hybrid, and shirtless at that, would not be good for him.

Craig loosened up a bit and let the imp's hands touch him around his sensitive areas. Tweek looked up at Craig as he unbuttoned his pants, which seemed incredibly tight because of his erection. The only thing between Tweek's hand and Craig's dick was underwear. Tweek saw the imprint of his leaking dick through his already wet boxers.

Craig whimpered and watched as the shirtless demon slowly pulled his underwear off. Tweek took his clawed hands and wrapped them around Craig's dick. He let out a very desperate moan and bit his lip.

"You know, you're very dirty for a pastor," Tweek said as he began to pump his dick. The imp felt it grow in his hands and leaned in to kiss Craig.

He didn't even think about it, just something he figured to do naturally. Craig pushed himself into the kiss and soon both tongues were added to the mix. The pastor finished in Tweek's hands with a heavy moan.

"T-thank you..." He huffed, feeling exhausted, especially since he hadn't had sexual release in so long. "Don't mention it." Tweek added."But can you do me a favor, pastor?"

"Anything."

- The Next Day -

Pastor Craig walked up to Kenny's front door and slipped an envelope under the door. He walked away, relieved.

Dear Kenny,

Sorry. I can't complete the exorcism. Here's your $20 back. You'll have to find another place for your night club.

- Youth Pastor Craig