teenage fools

I cant feel

I can't feel his lips, I can't feel them pressing against me, moving lustfully down my body, mutters and moans and his whispered "I love you's". He breathes into my skin and into my veins. He breathes so loudly even blood can hear and, by God, it fucking hurts. I know it happening, but it passes me like a daydream. I want to be able to feel it. Instead it's like I can feel her fingertips pressed against the small of my back and hear her voice in my ear, laughing oh so softly. I don't want to feel this. His touch is not enough to drive her away. It won't ever be enough because she lives in my bones and is tied to my soul. I don't want to miss her, but I miss her.