Spitting Image • TFC 3.0 • l.t. au

Chapter Forty Six

46

Days passed very slowly. Every minute I dread the worst that's going to happen to Margo. Louis and I visit her when the weather is not as bad but there's no progress regarding her health.

I blame myself every time for it. Every time I see her, a stabbing pain comes to my chest. It's something you never thought would happen but it did and there's no turning back now.

Today is the first day of 2030. None of us feel like celebrating. Our own home is silent. It's not a very common thing in our household. Normally, every New Year Seth and Summer would beg us to buy party popper and that's all they're doing to do all day. Especially when Louise is asleep, they'd blow the massive party popper in Louise's room.

Our New Year tradition, between Louis and I, we'd go out at night with Milly and Harry or, if they're not busy, Zayn and Perrie. Last year, Milly, Louis and Harry were very drunk that they threw up on a bartender. Tonight, I don't think we're going anywhere.

Mum did invite us to visit Doncaster today. She and her friends prepared lunch. Emily, Holly and Karen are coming; should be fun with Karen and Emily in one room.

The atmosphere in our own house is miserable. That's why, out of desperation, we resorted to head to mine and Louis' old hometown for a New Years lunch with my family. All of us, even the kids, look like we haven't been out for days. We're pale and looking very gaunt. My eyes look tired because I haven't slept for nights. Every time I close my eyes, I'm haunted by my nightmares and dark thoughts.

I look like a cave woman who just came out of the dark.

None of us talked. Well, Louis and I didn't talk all throughout the drive. Seth and Blaine talk quietly, more like little whispers and murmurs. Louise is asleep with her head against the window while Summer snuggles closely to Blaine like the little girl that she is.

Blaine loves Summer very much. He's always protective of her, even if it's just Seth picking on her, he'd always be there to defend her. While he and Seth talked, he's got his arm around his little sister to keep her from falling.

It's lovely to see them together. Whether they'd be bickering or being normal, just seeing them makes me feel so lucky to be the mother of this crazy lot. Some women can't even have children and when that comes to my mind, I feel even more blessed that I've got children of my own.

Even if one of them is in intensive care. I don't love Margo any less because she's different. She's my little girl and I love her as much as I love all of them.

I've noticed Louis being checked out recently. He's tense and kind of nervous the way I see it as he drives but I don't dare mention it. What for, I have no idea. Besides, I'm tired of pushing him to tell me something he doesn't want to. I don't want to argue. I don't have the energy to do that. Neither of us have the energy for that, actually.

When he parks in the driveway of the house, Holly steps out of the house, carrying Kate in her arms, with Jade beside her. The moment Jade steps out, the kids ran out of the car as well.

Kate squirms and held her arms out to Blaine. He's always been her favourite because Blaine just can't say no to the little 4 year old. Holly smiles as I walk over to her. I try to smile but it came out forced and it looked fake.

Mum appears behind Holly who smiles at me weakly. I stumbled forward when Louis bumped into me. "Sorry," he mumbled before stepping inside the house.

"Is he okay?" Holly asks me.

"Honestly, I don't know. We've been very distant since...." I trailed off. "It's been hard for all of us, Holly."

Holly nods, "Yeah, I know. I'm really sorry." We both go inside because the weather's starting to look pretty bad.