Spitting Image • TFC 3.0 • l.t. au

Chapter Sixty Four

64

When I was a young girl, I had no ambitions of being a mother. With everything going on in my life then, I thought I'd never find someone who'd stick around with me for the rest of my life. I was a mess. I didn't know who I was but I didn't realise that until later when I have lost everyone and everything.

I'd fight with my mother every single waking morning of my teenage life. We didn't agree on anything. In my own perspective, I didn't think she was doing what she had to do as my mother. She became selfish and because of that, I lost all my respect for her.

I lost very ounce of respect for her because she did something stupid. I'm older now and I understand why she has done that mistake. But the only regret I have of casting her out is that there is now a part of my life where my mother was missing. And I can never get that back

That's the one of the last things I want my children to experience.

I do not want any of them in the future looking back on a specific period of their lives and regret. And the way things are going right now with our eldest, I'm starting to think he's heading on the same path that I went through.

I just hope I'm wrong.

~~~

"Earth to Meg."

I jump when someone snaps their finger in my face. I rub my eyes and ran a hand through my hair. I take a deep sigh and cover my face with my hands. Dropping them, I face my dear sister.

"Sorry, Em. What was that you were saying?" I ask her but she has a sour, curious look on her face.

"Just the exact same story I've been telling you the past 10 minutes, Meg." She says in her usual smarty tone. "Seriously, is something going on? You seem awfully distracted."

I look at Emily, who was once just a young girl learning how life actually works. Now, she's no longer that naive little girl but she's a smart woman. And now I feel slightly embarrassed that my little sister is able to keep her family in order while mine is all over the place.

"Everything all right at home?" She asks me.

I smiled, "Yeah. Everything's fine." I lied. She gives me a curious look and frowns.

"You've always been an awful liar, Meg." She tells me, rolling her eyes. "Hey, what's going on with Blaine?" She asks me. "He seemed indifferent when I visited this weekend, what's going on?" She asks.

"He's been like that since last week, Em." I tell her. She gives me a curious look. "He's been silent lately and every time I try to ask him what's going on, he brushes me off. In fact, he brushes everyone off."

"Something's definitely bothering him." Em tells me. "Has Louis tried to approach him?"

I shrug and cross my arms. Suddenly I feel so helpless again. I'm afraid my biggest fear of failing as a mother might in fact come true. It always starts like this until it gets worse. "He's not speaking to me, I don't think he will speak to Louis about it as well." I tell her.

She frowns and her jaw drops. "What? They were so close before. What happened?" She asks me.

I couldn't even answer that myself. When he was younger, he wouldn't leave his dad's side. Now, they can barely stand at each other. Its like they couldn't even be in the same room for 10 minutes. And what's settling at the back of my head is about their conversation.

Ever since they had that conversation, Blaine has been silent around us.

"You and dad were close as well..."  She tells me. "And then he lied to you. Is Louis hiding something from him?"