Chapter 31

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Dean's POV: I feel thoroughly horrible when I leave Sophie at ten. Her Dad and brother came back less than a minute ago so I said I'd go which is why I'm now getting into my car to drive down the drive to my drive way. I don't like leaving her that soon, it makes me feel like she's gonna be confused because I usually stay a lot later than that but we both have school and it's been a long few weeks, I don't see the point in making her any more tired than she already is.

Another problem is that fact that she was clearly upset about something and I'm sure that something is to do with when we kissed and then I sorta rejected her, it might not have been a full on rejection but when it's Sophie she notices anything and everything and it doesn't matter how small the thing is, she'll still notice it. And to be honest I shouldn't have done it.

Mum is right about one thing though, I need to face up to my problems. I do fancy her or like her- do I love her? Yeah... would she want know if I love her I'm not too sure. And am I ready to tell her? I don't know. Is she ready to be told? I don't think so but then what is she is ready for that and I'm just not letting her know thinking it's for the best and then she decides she doesn't like me.

Then again she doesn't like me. She's forever saying that she knows I don't want the same thing as her so there's no way she'd go there for me or with me, no way. She doesn't like me so if I do say or act on it in any way there is no way that I'd survive the night, she'll have me hung drawn and quartered while asking me what's changed and why don't I want to keep up my player life. She'd bound to be asking why I hid that I liked her and why I never gave even a little forewarning about it and why I waited until after the d*ck that raped her.

"Dean, is that you honey?" my mum shouts through from the living room I'm guessing when I walk in through the front door and slamming it a bit too hard for what I was meant to and then when I go through the door I whack my knuckles off the door at full pealt when I swing my hand around the side of my body. I let out a somewhat strangled yelp on pain, yeah, maybe hitting my hand at full pealt off the wood wasn't the best idea especially after punching that tw*t earlier on.

"Don't kill yourself on the door son, leave some options for the way out..." a deep voice says from around the corner, one that I don't recognise. Having said that, there was a strange car in the drive but I thought maybe it was just one of Ken- Ellen's husband so technically my uncle- anyway, it looked like it could've been one of his new cars that he's fixing up for someone, he takes them out for runs a lot to make sure they're road worthy. Apparently that's not the case, it's the one person that I've learnt to hate. When I turn around the side of the wall to see the man I want to punch someone all over again and this time it's him I want to punch because he's that much of an idiot. He left me and he left my Mum, faded away from us and the whole time he knew what he was doing. He abused my Mum, the one person that was always there for me. He walked out on his marriage after being told to leave many times before that and he never did and then when it suited him he upped and left. All I remember from when I was little was all the arguing and then the clatters of plates or of someone against the wall. Mum never did bad mouth him, I just go by what I remembered from when I was little, nobody ever told me why he left, not the proper reason anyway, and now here he is standing up after being sat down but only because I've walked in. His body rigid and tense all over, a brown jacket covers him and a pair of clean, blue crisp jeans are on his legs, a black top peeking out of the jacket that he has on... and the award for the best dressed disappearing man goes to the one and only Murray Bean, my flaming Dad not that he ever really acted like one!

"What the hell is he doing here?" I seethe, the words coming out too hostile to my Mum, I never meant to sound that hostile to her, I want him to know how I feel about him but come on, I don't want my anger to come out on her, that would make me like him, a cowered unable to face up to my problems properly and that uses the first thing that gets in my way as a punch bag or fists or words, either way is just as bad.

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