Another One Cindirection Story (L.P.)

Chapter 12 - My Heart is Broken

Aubrey's POV

We sat in silence for a while. Neither of us wanted to start first. I certainly didn't want to start first. I almost knew for certain what he was going to say. Finally, I couldn't take it and decided to nip it in the bud first.

"Can you please say what's on your mind and get it out of the way?"

He was silent for another moment, considering his words carefully. Finally he sighed, "Why did you have to say that to her in front of everyone?"

"She locked me in the bathroom for over an hour, Owen, because she's convinced that I stole Connor from her. I did what I had to do. I stood up for myself. Isn't that what you wanted?" I dared him to say no.

"I said stand up for yourself not humiliate someone! There's a difference." he burst out, taking me by surprise. I started to respond, but then noticed someone walking by the car. Owen noticed too and we stayed silent until the person passed by.

"What would you have suggested that I done then?" I asked when I was sure that the person was gone.

"I don't know!" Owen threw up his hands in frustration. "But I sure wouldn't have done it the way you did." His words were harsh and he knew it, but they were out and he couldn't take it back even if he wanted to.

"Yeah, well, not all of us make the right decision every time like you do, okay, Owen?" I was fuming. I needed him to be on my side, to back me up, to tell me that he was proud of me for standing up for myself. I might not have done it in the best way, but at least I did it.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked softly.

I ignored his question. "Let's just go home." I said flatly, leaning back in my chair and buckling my seatbelt. It was the end of the conversation and both of us had no idea how to start it back up again. He deliberated then sighed, taking the car out of park and reversing out of the parking lot.

The long car ride back home was painful. Even the radio wasn't in the mood to play any good music. Owen reached forward and turned it off, which only made things more awkward and weird. My hand itched to turn it back on to fill some of the silence.

I looked out the window and thought about the times before when us fighting seemed like nothing but a concept. When there were no secrets to be wary of or silences to be filled. Now it seemed to be happening so often and the words between us were less and harsher. I wondered what changed. I wondered if he was right and it was me that had changed.

A part of me wanted to go back to the way things were before, because even if things were terrible at school I still had Owen. It was weird how I could have one thing but not the other at the same time. Either way I felt like I was losing.

I turned my head and stared at Owen as he concentrated on the suddenly too interesting road in front of him, hoping he would break the silence like he used to. When we were younger and got into petty fights, he would always extend the olive branch first. He was the first to offer me a toy in exchange for my friendship again or the first to apologize. I was always glad to accept, just happy to be his friend again. But things were different now and we were no longer children.

For a split second, I thought about apologizing first. Because he was right. I didn't have to say the things I did to Taylor in front of an audience. I could've confronted her privately and I didn't because I was angry. Angry at the bathroom situation but also angry because of the way she treated me all those times before like I was a less of a human than she was. Angry that she was the first to turn on me when an older guy from Owen's class spread the rumor that I had an STD because he was angry that I said no to having sex with him. She was supposed to be my friend.