Another One Cindirection Story (L.P.)

Chapter 24 - Stop and Stare

Aubrey's POV

Taylor can't stop looking over at me from the driver's seat. I know what she wants to ask but doesn't and I'm thankful that she doesn't. I stare out the windshield, my gaze hard. The road blurs in front of me and I'm happy she's the one driving and not me.

I'm sorry, but Owen's gone.

That could mean anything, right? Gone didn't mean... I can't bring myself to finish the thought.

The minute she parks, I'm out the door. Taylor barely keeps up with me as I weave through the hospital until I find the elevators. I press the up button. When it doesn't come immediately, I press it again. I end up pressing it so many times that Taylor grabs my hand to stop me. My hand shakes in hers and I rip my hand out of hers like she's shocked me.

Eventually the elevator comes and we ride up to Owen's floor in silence.

Layla's waiting outside by the door when I finally reach his room. The door to his room is closed and she stands in front of it like she's guarding it. I try to move past her, but she blocks me. Taylor stands next to me, unsure of what to do.

"He's gone," she repeats the words from her message. There's no emotion behind it. She says the two words like they are no different than any other two words.

"No, you're wrong," I say and try to move past her again.

"Aubrey, his heart stopped beating twenty minutes ago." Twenty minutes ago. Twenty minutes ago, I stood in the hallway with Taylor and watched as Connor's life crumbled in front of me. And now, I was watching my own life crumble. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the irony of it all.

"I need to see him." I still refuse to believe her. She was lying. Owen was okay. I would walk into his room and he would still be asleep, but okay. There was a difference, maybe Layla didn't understand that.

Layla grabs my shoulders and shakes me. "Stop," But I don't. I can't. He's not dead. I need to see for myself then I'll be able to prove her wrong. I push her hands off of me, but she just grabs my hands instead. I struggle against her, shoving her away from me, but in the end, I give in to her. Tears flow freely down my face and I don't bother to hide them from her. She holds me and I just cry.

Owen really was gone.

She runs her hand through my hair, muttering, "I know, honey, I know." I can't remember the last time she's held me like this and as much as I hate to admit it, it feels nice. Comforting, even.

We may have our differences, but we both loved Owen.

I'm the first to pull away, wiping my face with my arm. It might be my imagination, but I see a tear run down Layla's face. She quickly turns away though, walking away. I stand numbly by the door and watch her retreating back. 

When she's disappeared from my view, I turn to face the still closed door. I know that she didn't want me to see, but I need to see him, at least one last time. I close my eyes and inhale sharply.

The nurses are still in there when I open the door. The one closest to the door looks up and without a word, she and the others exit the room quietly. I don't move until the last of them leave. Then I slowly make my way over to where Owen is.

Owen looks the same as always. Nothing's changed and it's unsettling to me, how someone can be so full of life one minute and then lose it all the next. I don't want to remember him like this. I want to remember him hiking up to the top of the mountain with me and being amazed when the sun set even though we've both seen the sun set thousands of times. I want to remember him laughing out his guts when I showed him what the teacher wrote on my test in response to my answer. I was so mad then, thinking that he was laughing at me. If only he knew what I'd give to hear his laugh again.

I stare at him, trying to memorize what he looks like. I'm terrified that I'll forget one day. I wipe my face again with the back of my hand. In my head, I say goodbye.

I barely make it out of the door intact. It takes everything for me to keep it together until I reach the bathroom. Once I'm sure that no one is in there, I fall apart.

I grab the edges of the sink tightly. My head hangs low, I want to throw up but nothing comes up because I haven't eaten since last night. I still can't breathe properly; it's like I'm choking on air. My heart feels like it's knotted up and someone's trying to untangle it, but they're only making it worse.

I sink down onto the floor and lean my head into my knees, taking deep breaths. The cold tiles are a relief to my body. My mind flashes back to all the times Owen was there for me and I want to die. Where was I when he needed me the most? I was at school, wasting time on a boy who didn't matter, when I should've been here. There was nothing I could've done for him, but he wouldn't have been alone.

I play with my necklace, twisting it around my finger mindlessly. It was a simple silver chain with a circle hanging on it. A circle for O, for Owen. It was his present to me last year. I haven't taken it off since.

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't notice when Taylor comes into the bathroom. She tosses her bag to the side and sits down next to me. I don't even remember her leaving the first time around.

"So... Aubrey," she says quietly and I tense up, remembering that Layla had called me by my real name earlier.

I don't bother to deny it. There was no point in lying. "Yeah," I turn to face her. "I'm sorry I lied."

She takes me by complete surprise when she says, "Don't be. I've known this whole time."

"How?" I ask. I had been careful with keeping my identity a secret. As far as I know, no one knows. No one even remotely suspects anything. No one except Taylor, I suppose.

"Just because you change your name and dress a little differently doesn't mean you're a different person, Aubrey." she says plainly. I don't respond and she scoots closer to me, placing a hand on mine. I look over at her and she offers me a sad smile. "Life is really unfair sometimes."

I choke out a laugh. That was the understatement of the century.

"What am I supposed to do without him?" I ask, not expecting her to know the answer.

He was my whole world. The only person who knew me, inside and out. The one who told me I looked beautiful that night even though I felt anything but. The one who held me and told me that everything was going to be alright when everything was falling apart.

Now he was gone, taking a big piece of my heart with him, too.

No, scratch that. I think he might've taken it all.

"You just keep on living your life, I guess." Taylor replies. She leans her head on my shoulder and we just sit there, pressed together against the bathroom wall. I wonder when she became my friend, or if we're even friends. But at the moment I can't bring myself to care, I'm just happy that she's here.

A/N: Okay guys, there has been three uploads in one weekend, think you can survive until the next weekend? JK. Anyways, we have officially reached 1,027 views!!! Thank you for a thousand views :) Don't forget to follow, comment, and vote!