Chapter Thirty

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Chapter Thirty

There were still some loose ends I had to tie up before I took the final step with Grant. I needed to apologize to all the guys I used just for sex. I now see that I had no right to treat them that way. It was quite a few guys I had to apologize to and with everyone I got a slap to the face.

I deserved each and every one of them; they had the right to be angry with me. I was a complete asshole to them and just used them for sex, but I was lucky that they found it in their hearts to forgive me.

With each one I was feeling better with myself, but there was still one person who I did wrong and never apologized for my action. It’s been over five years and I think it was about time I told him how sorry and wrong of me it was to do that.

However before I did that, I was going to have to come clean to Grant about how I really know Preston. I know I didn’t really lie to him, I just told him half the truth. To how he was going to react to this I didn’t know.

I had been thinking about how I was going to tell him, but the only way that I could come up with was to tell him straight out. No bullshit, just the plain truth.

It was the start of our spring break from school. Grant wanted to go somewhere but I told him I would prefer to stay home and just relax. So here we are at the park and just enjoying the nice day, giving Lola a chance to run around free.

“Grant I have something I need to tell you.”

“What is it buttercup.” I leaned closer to him as we sat on the bench and watched Lola chase after the ducks near the pond.

“I didn’t tell you the full truth about how I really knew Preston.”

“Oh what is it then?” I reached over and intertwined my fingers with his.

“When I first met Preston, it was in our creative writing class. He intrigued me and the more he shot me down the more I wanted him.” I looked up at Grant he was looking straight forward, I didn’t know if I should continue or not.

Grant looked down at me and smiled, “Go on.”

“He told me over and over that he had a fiancé, but I never believed him. I never ever saw this said fiancé, but until one time I really was bothering him. We ran into him, Preston told him about how I wouldn’t leave him alone. So Robert told me off and to back off, so I did.”

“What else happened?”

“Well I tried to back off but I just couldn’t, I really started to believe I was in love with him. He invaded my every thought to the point it made upset because I couldn’t have him. I tried everything to make him see he was better off with me.”

“But that didn’t work.”

“No it didn’t, I thought that when I was finally able to get him to sleep with me he would see I was the one for him.” I looked over at Grant; he didn’t have much of an expression. “After we had sex he freaked out and you could tell he regretted it. The look on his face said it all; I was never going to be with him. Even if Robert was to break up with him, he wasn’t going to be with me.”

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