Darling you're perfect

Diary Entry 3

Dear,
Diary fucker thingy
The pain. Excruciating pain. Almost unbearable.

Every time I disobey father. I have some sort of punishment.

Whether it be losing my dinner for the night or getting things I enjoy doing taken away from me. Which I don't have a lot of those. Or the worst... Beatings.

Last night just happened to be one of those nights.

One whip

Two whips

Three whips

Fuck I lose count every time.

Normally he'll do it on my back first until I bleed. And the more I cry out the more he does it.

Then he moves on to my chest. It's more painful there. Just hearing the crackle of the belt or anything else he used against my skin is painful. Every hit worse then the one before.

There's no telling when he will actually stop.

Sometimes it'll last less a short amount of time and sometimes it's forever but either way it still feels like a long time to Me.

He'll gag me and tie me up in attempt to keep any neighbors from hearing my sobs and screams.

I always cry during the sessions and when they're finally over I'm relieved.

When did I ever deserve that? I must truly not be worthy of living on this world I mean everyone says so anyways.

Though that boy, Antonio.

How beautiful he is and then his voice is just perfect. He was annoying yet just seemed utterly sweet. And I completely shut him out. I probably won't talk to him again after that encounter but I'm allowed to think about him right diary?

I mean he's so gorgeous and flawless in every way. Have I actually began to crush on someone? No that's not possible. I don't believe in love in first sight. And it's not like he'd ever want to be with a boy like me. I'm useless garbage compared to him. I'm not even the least bit attractive not to mention all the scars on my body. Who would find that nice to look at? Probably no one.

Lovino sighed as he wrote. He just had lots of things to say today as he continued writing.

He said he wanted to be friends but can I actually trust him? And what if he found out about my life? What would he think? Would he laugh? Say I deserve it? Start doing the same things to me? He was handsome and well muscle toned. He probably got all the ladies.

He probably knew The people at school that hate me. Including Gilen. Maybe he's friends with them. Most likely. He could just gang up on me when he finds out things about me. Things spread through school so he probably will find out and join in.

Lovino abruptly shut his diary and shoved it under his pillows as he was in tears.