A Leap Of Fate

Chapter XXXVI- The Conclusion

“No..”

 My mind seemed so scream the very moment my consciousness came back. For some reason, I already knew where I was. I felt the coldness of a smooth wooden floor under me, moist from sweat and tears, the ancient smell and the fingers combing my hair with concern.

And for that reason, I refused to open my eyes. As the realization became clearer, I felt like I was dying inside, shrinking and aching. Finally, a painful sob escaped my throat, betraying my quietness.

“Alix…” The homely voice that I have never heard for so long said. She lifted my head from her lap.

One sob lead to more. I bit my lower lip, trying to be brave as I slowly opened my eyes. There it was, looking just like how it did when I left. The attic was dark, with a little ray of light coming from a small window. Various things were scattered around me. I looked up to see Aunty Vicky for a brief moment then I bowed my head and cried.

“Alix, dear… it’s over now. Are you alright? Don’t cry, please..”

I continued to do so, not knowing what to do. She will never understand it, the value of what’s lost. No one will ever understand it, I thought.

“Alix…I know about everything that happened…We’ve been waiting for it, your mother waited.”

“Auntie…I have to come back,” I finally said.  “Leonel…he’s dying. He can’t die. At least let me save him and let him live…Auntie…”

She looked at me wistfully then stroked my head. “Alix, I am sorry, but you can’t come back now. It’s all destined and planned. And you are also destined to come back here.  Theirs is nothing that we can do now. Sorry, dear…”

Fresh stream of tears started flowing for my eyes. “Auntie, please help me… I have to see Leonel…Auntie, its my world now…I will never be able to live now.”

“No, you must get over it, hard as it is.”

“Auntie, its not that simple,” I said, frustrated. “I…found the person who loves me for what I am there, the one who will give his life to me… I can’t just simply forget everything..” I finally said.

“But Alix, I don’t have the ability to take you back there.”

“No,” I cried and rested my head on my knees, covered my face and cried to my defeat. Clearly, there is nothing we can do now.

“Alix, it’s a precious gift to you. It’s not meant to be forever…do you understand?” She gently said. “It is meant to give you the chance to learn more than you can from this world. And so, it is meant to just be kept and treasured, in your heart…”

“No, Auntie, Its just like Fate played a big, cruel joke on me, and now I am left to mend the wounds…it gave me the life where everyone accepted me and loved me and then take it back again..it is cruel…Auntie…”

She put her arms around me. “Alix, don’t be like that. You’re mind is clouded now but you have to learn to move on sooner or later. You will see, those memories will help you through your real life.”

“No..” I continued sobbing. “It will never be the same, it will be worse, what do I have to live for now? They are gone… “

Auntie Vicky drew back and held my face with two hands. She stared right through my eyes. “Alix, it is not that the people there loved you more than we do. You were given the chance for that dreamlike journey to know yourself more, to help yourself.  Remember how you were so withdrawn to life before? You can’t do anything but read, you didn’t have the heart to go out and make yourself better. Most of all, you were always afraid. Look at you now…I can feel that you are stronger, more daring and bold.  Because you are stronger now, the last ordeal is to brave that grief, accept everything with a light heart and think of everything that happened as a beautiful dream. It will always be with you…Leonel will always be with you. It was his fate to die.”