I won't wait (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 21

Derek POV

My shaky knees dragged me down onto the floor in the hallway outside of his condo. Every single muscle in my body was tense, especially my heart. I was loosing my breath, and an uncontrollable stream flowed through my eyes. This pain, this pain is why I hate the end result of love, but this time it was my fault. I was so damn foolish, and now I've lost him. The empty look in his eyes sickened my soul, how could I do that to him? To Jess of all people, the man that I claim to love. I love him so much, and I've ruined it. It's all over, and it's all my fault. I sobbed louder into the tip of my shirt, I feel so numb, yet so in pain. It's unexplainable, and I just want it to end.

I pulled out my phone and called the only man that I knew would never leave me no matter what I've done. "Dad?", my voice cracked showing him the inevitable pain I feel.

"Derek? Is that you? What's wrong?" He asked with urgency.

"Can you tell Ben to come pick me up from the Jemingtons?"

"Derek-"

"Please dad ... Please", I begged in-between my strained breaths. I don't want any questions, I don't want to have to explain my wrong doings, I just want to whither away in the consequences of my sin.

"Okay, we're on our way". I ended the call after that not being able to talk any longer. I wanted to stay on the floor, having no effort to move, but I knew I had to leave. Just thinking about leaving made my eyes start to water all over again. Something so simple as breathing became extremely hard; even my body knows I don't deserve to feel serenity.

I took the elevator to the lobby having to hold onto the railing for support, I just want something I can hold onto, because right now I'm too unstable. There was too much tension in my body giving me a headache, but I deserve this. I deserve everything bad that comes to me, I just wish it didn't have to be loosing him.

The elevator door opened once for a small blonde girl with pink heels on. She looked at me surprisedly like she hadn't expected to see someone in the elevator. She gave a small smile, but I guess the radiance of death on my face pushed her away. I'm sorry that I feel like my whole world is slowly crumbling and dying around me, I'm sorry okay! I wanted to yell my thoughts to her, but I knew I'd look crazy. The duration of the elevator ride I was interestingly fascinated with her pink heels, I don't really know what it is, but that vibrant color somehow lessened my pain, until she had to leave my presence alone in the elevator.

I took a seat in the lobby waiting for my father to come, I knew it'd take about 10 minutes, and that's only on a good day. I had stopped crying, but that didn't stop the aching feeling in my chest, it just calmed the continuous brewing storm. My body was so exhausted, it felt hard to even lift a finger. I really don't want my father to see me so weak, but it's not like this is the first time it's happened.

"I know this isn't my business, but are you alright sir? Would you like anything?" Asked the doorman who was currently on his break.

"I'm fine", I breathed out with stress hinted in my tone. "Just a lot going on right now". He smiled sadly and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I see, well I would like you to have this". He placed a intricately designed rock in my hand. I stared at it oddly before looking up at him. Who gives someone a rock, other than a child trying to please their parents, even then it's a drawing. It's a weird gift, but I took it nonetheless.

"Umm, a rock?"

"Not just any rock, this one is special". Okay then crazy old man. "Just carry it around with you, you will see." After that he walked off leaving me with unanswered questions. I was confused as to how a rock can be special, but I suppose since it's special to him I'll appreciate the gesture. The rock was cut almost in half revealing an inside of white iridescent stone with blue along the rim. For something so plain on the outside it's quite beautiful if nothing else, I just don't understand. It's a rock, what can it truly mean?

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and I didn't answer knowing that it was my father. I left the lobby with the rock placed in my pocket and a doorman, other than the rock giver, holding the door open for me. My father was standing outside of the town car with a determined look on his face. When he saw me he pulled me in with one arm around my shoulder and one in his pocket. I could see the confusion flustering in his eyes, but I'm glad that he didn't question me quite yet.

The peace was short lived, because as soon as Ben pulled away my dad started up with the questions. "Why did you call me, I was in the middle of a video business meeting?"

"Can we not talk about this dad, and you didn't have to come, I just asked for Ben". My father paused before rolling up the partition in the town car. I sighed knowing that we'd probably be driving around until I answered him, this is always how he gets an answer out of me. I'm assuming he's placed child lock on my side also. I moved the door handle as we were in non-moving traffic right now to check, yep, I'm not getting out of here.

"Now, I will ask again, why did you call me?"

"Look, it's nothing really, just a simple argument with me and Jess".

"It didn't sound like a simple argument-"

"Well it was", I interrupted, my temper being short, frustrated, and wanting this to be over. When I felt my father wrap his arms around me I knew that I had to of started crying. It's too late to lie now, he can see my pain, and I'm sure he feels it with me. I cried on his shoulder letting so much pent up anger and sorrow out. "I love him dad, I love him so much", I took quick sharp breaths not being able to breath properly in between my tears. "And I fucked up so bad, I-I don't know what to do. I love him dad, and it hurts to bad". I could feel his chest rise and lower taking in and exhaling a deep breath.

"You don't have to tell your mom about this if you don't want to".

"But I do dad, because she's going to ask about him, and I can't lie to mom". He didn't respond to that, he just let me rant and let it all out on the ride home. The rough shoulder rubs, and tightness of my father's hug kept me stable. If he wasn't embracing me so tightly, I wouldn't be able to hold on. Heartbreak is a bitch, especially when I'm the one that's caused my own pain. I hate this.