Change // H.S.

27. Closure

It's amazing how a lot can change in a matter of months.

I remember the day we first met very clearly as if it was just yesterday. I was at a low point in my life spending a week in the homeless shelter and she came. She came to help me. I opened my sleepy eyes to find a young woman before me, her eyes bright with excitement. At the time, I found her annoying and had asked her harshly what she wanted from me. I can't help but laugh at the memory now. She's a forgiving person with a lot of patience and I'm grateful for that. It's unfortunate, however, that I don't possess either of those qualities.

Then there was the day I admitted I needed help and she came to help me. I was alone in the cold and I honestly thought I was going to die that day. I was slowly slipping into hypothermia and she ran out to me, breathless and her eyes wide with worry. I didn't treat her well and here she was, worrying over me. She held me in her arms and gave me warmth. And that, I realized, was how it felt to have someone truly care about you. I will never forget that feeling. Ever.

.

.

It's strange how death can bring people closer. I have never been one to interact with Dani's parents, but after her death, we've been talking more. Her mum treats me as if I'm her son. Her dad acknowledges me but we never speak. I don't mind though. I'd rather him stay silent than yell at me.

Dani's mum and I would have conversations at the apartment until midnight just talking about Dani. I thought we'd run out of things to talk about but there would always be more to say. Her mum would tell me about Dani's childhood and her most cherished memories. My favorite memory that she told me was how Dani climbed up on the roof when she was just four years old. Her dad was cleaning the leaves from the gutter and her mum was taking a nap. Dad was supposed to keep an eye on her but was too preoccupied with the gutter. He nearly had a heart attack when he found his daughter on the roof with him. He quickly brought her down and told her not to tell mum but she did anyway and dad got in trouble.

I was surprised her mum was interested in what Dani had done to help me. In order to tell her how she helped me, I had to tell her my life story--where I came from. She cried when she heard I lost my mum when I was only eighteen.

"I'm so sorry to hear that," she said, wiping her tears. "I can't imagine the pain you went through. Growing up without both parents." She paused to drink her tea and then continued. "I'm glad she found you," she whispered. "You're a remarkable young man who has a lot to look forward to. What happened in the past can't be changed but don't let the past hold you back. The past can only help you become a better person than you were yesterday." I smiled at her words. Despite the horrible things I've done in the past, she still believes in me just like Dani did.

A weight that I didn't know was there before was finally lifted off my shoulders. I can't stop the past from haunting me but I can learn from it. I wrapped the blanket around me tighter and just sighed. It was 1 AM but I wasn't tired and neither was her mum. It hurt so much to talk about her, but at the same time, talking about her helped with the pain.

.

.

Ever since Dani's death, I haven't been working. When Mel heard the tragic news, she gave me two weeks off and a check for one thousand dollars to give to her family.

"I know it isn't much but I want to help out as much as I can," Mel told me. "She sounds like a wonderful person who will be missed dearly. If you need more than two weeks, just let me know. Hang in there, Harry. Everything will be okay, I promise." Mel squeezes my shoulders and then hugs me, and I hug her back. I thought it'd be strange to hug my boss but it wasn't strange at all. It was actually comforting.

Later that day, I stopped by the smoke shop I used to spend a lot of time in. I was hesitant about entering but decided to go in. It'd be nice to see my old boss and update him on what has happened. I walked in to see my old boss on his laptop typing. He didn't even look up when I entered so I cleared my throat to get his attention. He instantly looked up and was surprised to see me.

"Harry! It's been so long. How are you?" he asked, running up to give me a bear hug. He almost squeezed the air from my lungs but luckily let go of me.

"Things could be better. I just wanted to stop by to tell you how things were going," I replied.

"'Things could be better.' That doesn't sound good at all," my old boss tutted. "Care to fill me in?"

"Do you remember who Dani is?" I asked. I tried my best not to tear up but I can feel my eyes start to water.

"Of course! That girl who's helping you out. Why?" my old boss asked, concerned. "Is she okay?"

"She's dead."

There was a long silence. Saying those words made me realize Dani was really gone. Sadness washed over me and I blinked, feeling the tears run down my cheeks and I just stood there, sobbing. My old boss came up to hug me and he held me close.

"It's okay to cry. Just let it all out," he told me. I felt like we just stood there for an hour but in reality it was only ten minutes. "She may be gone," he continued, "but she's not. She's still here watching over you just like she always has." He then put on a serious face as he looked me straight in the eye. "Harry, I don't want you to go back to your old ways. Don't revert to smoking and drinking to deal with your problems. Those things will only make things worse. Remember what she taught you. Don't succumb." I nodded and stared at him even though the tears blurred my vision. "Here's my contact information," he said, handing me his business card. I took it in my hands and flipped it over so I could see his name. Jonathan. I never knew his first name before and now that I do, I realize it suits him well. "The minute you want to smoke or drink, call me and I will talk some sense into you. I know you never had a father figure in your life, but if you ever need something or want to talk, I'm here for you." He smiles at me and pats my back, and I can't help but dive in for another hug.

I left the smoke shop feeling...relieved, calm. It's not the end of the world. Things will get better. As I stepped out towards the apartment, I felt my phone buzz.

"Hello?" I asked, not even bothering to see who called.

"Harry." It was Dani's mum. What could she be calling for?

"Hi, is everything okay?" I asked.

"No...I mean yes. I don't know," she replied. She words were shaky and her sentences choppy. "The police just called." My ears perked up.

"What did they say?"

"They were able to locate the homeless man's family yesterday and received the okay from them to tell us who he is. Also, the autopsy results came in. They will tell us the full story at the police station tomorrow at 2 PM." I then hear her sobbing. "I don't want to go. I'm scared. I don't want to know how she died. I don't want to hear the details. I just want closure."

"But this will give you closure," I tried to reassure her. I can hear her sobs become less frequent. "I know it's scary but you need to know the whole story before you can get closure."

"Can you come with us?" I was taken aback by her question. They want me to come with them? "Please? I want you to hear the whole story so you can get closure too." I nodded but then realized we were on the phone and she couldn't see me nod.

"Of course. I'll be happy to come." My voice came out weaker than I intended it to. I wonder if her mum could tell that I was nervous and scared as well. I get to find out who killed Dani tomorrow. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I don't want to be reminded of her death but I need to know. I need to know who did it and once I do, I'll finally get closure.

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There are only a few chapters left of this story. Sad, I know. :'(

I can't believe I've been working on this story for a little over one year but I've enjoyed every minute of it. I just wanted to take the time to thank you all for reading! It means a lot to me. :')