My Best Friend's Boyfriend

Long Goodbyes

Have you ever just looked at somebody and just get hit with such love and adoration, yet at the same time, you feel this over-whelming sensation of hurt and just the overall feeling that your entire world is falling apart? That's what smacks me in the chest everytime I think about him, or look at a picture of him, or anytime I look down at my phone everytime he calls me or texts me.

Krys was everything I could ever want. He was brilliant, and hilarious, and always knew how to make me smile no matter how shitty my day was. He was always the one to make everything so much easier, no matter how bad it was. He treated me like a damn princess...
But, now, with this? There was nothing that he,nor I - nor anyone - could do to make it any better. As much as it kills me, I have to let him go.

Three weeks have passed since I told Krys to leave, and not a day has passed that he hasn't texted me, or attempted to call me.
I sat down on my bed, looking at all of my half packed boxes in my bedroom. I glanced down at my phone. 6:43. I shook my head. My mother should have been home over an hour ago. I tried to unlock my screen to message her, but it vibrated, and Krys' picture popped up. I rubbed my thumb across his goofy face on my screen, smiling softly. My finger brushed the accept button, and I answered his call.

I just kind of stared at his picture for a second.

"Kadyn?"
I put my ear up to the phone.

"Are you there?" He sounded like he hadn't slept in a month.

"Yeah... I'm here, Krys." I looked at the floor.

"Kade..." he whispered. "Can we talk? Maybe get something to eat?"
I fumbled with the sleave of my sweater.

"I mean," I looked around at the boxes on my floor. This might be my last chance to see him before I leave. "Yeah, I have a few things that I need
to say as well. Meet me at the coffee shop by your mom's old house in thirty minutes." I swallowed hard as I hung up the phone.

I got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom. I pulled out a hairbrush and tore through the rats in my - now black - hair. I put on a little bit of eyeliner and then moved to my closet.
I pulled out a pale pink sweater that was a little too short for me, and a pair of highwaisted black jean shorts and slid them on. I went back into the bathroom, and, as usual, I was dissatisfied with my appearance.
I sighed again and grabbed a bottle of perfume and sprayed a bit on myself. I took one last look in the mirror, and with a huff, I walked downstairs, grabbed my housekey, and walked outside, locking the door behind me.
I walked down the street, towards the coffee shop. With every step I took, my heart sank even further. Yet, at the same time, with every step I took, I grew more and more anxious. While the boy broke my heart, I still loved him with everything that I was.

I walked up the steps to the front door and placed my hand on the knob. I took a deep breath before opening it.

I looked to my left, and there he was sitting in the very back with his headphones in, facing away from the door. I swallowed, as if I could just choke all of my different emotions down with that one motion. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath. With each step towards him, I could feel my heart beat faster and faster.

"Hey," I choked out, placing a hand on his back.

He slowly turned around, and looked at me, but couldn't keep eye contact. He took his headphones out and stood up. He engulfed me in his embrace, holding me close to him. I felt my heart break and repair itself all over again. I felt a tear stream down my face as he pulled away.

"Thank you for meeting me." His voice cracked.

I sat awkwardly down in the booth across from him and stared at the floor. I could hear him sit down.

"You dyed your hair." He stated blandly.

"Yeah," I pulled my fingers through the end of my ponytail. "I don't like it that much." I looked up at him.

"I like it. You look good, as always."

I reached out and grabbed his hand gently on the table, "You look like hell, Krys." I whispered.

He closed his eyes, "That's because this is killing me..."

I let go of his hand and sat back, crossing one leg over the other. I stared at the floor.

"Maybe you should have thought about that when I pushed that Brittney wasn't the kind of girl you wanted to be around. Even though," I scoffed, "evidently she was."

"Kadyn, you have to listen to me," he leaned forward.

"No, Krys." I looked up at him. "I didn't come here to relive that moment, okay? I can't do it. I can't even look at you; it hurts too much. I can't go places that we used to go, because it hurts too much. I can't even sit in my goddamn living room without hurting, because everything reminds me of you." I sat forward. "Krys. I'm leaving."

He stared at me blankly for a moment.

"Leaving?"

I bit my lip, looking at the table. I closed my eyes and lifted my head. "Moving."

"Where are you going?" His voice was low and almost inaudible.

"Louisiana."

When he didn't say anything, I opened my eyes.

He was looking out the window with an expression that I had never seen on his face before. His jaw was clenched. A small tear made its way down his cheek slowly.

"I, uh." His voice broke, he looked over at me. "I guess you weren't fuckin' around when you said you had to talk to me too..." He looked down at his hands on the table.

I reached across the table and grabbed his hands again and his head shot up.

"Krys." I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes, so I looked at our hands. "I want you to know that I love you. And, uh ... I will always love you, there is no changing that, but, I have to leave." I stood up and moved to sit next to him. "But there is no one who can change what happened." I placed my hand on the inside of his leg.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I just kept talking. "You were the greatest thing that ever walked into my life, but," I bit my lip, looking down, "in a sense, you were also the worst thing." I looked up at him and I could feel my eyes start to water. "I will always have a place for you in my heart, and maybe a void that can never be filled. But, that will kill me a lot slower than being reminded of you every day." I watched as a few tears fell from his eyes. I wiped them away as I tried to fight my own.

"Kade-"

I shook my head. "Don't." I stroked his cheek with my thumb. I reached up and pulled him in for a hug by the back of his neck. I gripped him to my chest tightly, tears streaming down my face. "I love you, Krys." I pulled back and turned to stand up, but he caught me by the arm and pulled me back in for a kiss. His hand moved to my face, and he pulled me closer. I wrapped my hands around his neck and melted into him.
Every part of me lit on fire, and my heart busted itself against the inside of my ribcage. My face and my hips burned against my skin under his touch. The tears continued to roll.

After a moment, I pulled back and sniffled.
This was it, make it or break it.
Stay, and endure this moment while it still exists, or have the courage to get up and walk out like you know you need to?

I hesitantly turned and stood up, looking at him. His eyes tore into me like razor blades, and I froze in my place.

It took every ounce of effort to turn and run out the front door.

*Fade Out*

Don't shoot me, but that's it.

For now.

Starting next summer, I'm going to try and start giving you updates in the sequel to My Bestfriend's Boyfriend. (;
Look for updates on the title and exact dates for the sequel!