My Best Friend's Boyfriend

The Pain

“I can’t believe that you actually dumped him…”  Jacey said as she started down the rack of jeans.

“Jace, don’t…”  I snapped.

“What?”  She looked over at me, noticing my uncomfortable expression, “Excuse me, I thought you were happy, for once in your life, so I’m sorry that I’m a little pissed that you just threw that away, Kadyn.”  She tossed a hand up, agitated, before continuing to look for another pair of jeans to go along with her other fifty-billion pairs that she never even wore.

“I mean, sure,”  I watched as she’d pick up a pair, examined the pockets on the back, and shrugged, placing them back.  “He made me happy, I mean, really happy … but it was killing Maya,”  I shrugged, trying not to think about it.

She stopped, facing me, “Hang on a minute, isn’t Maya the same one who yelled at you and called you a bitch after she told you that she was okay with you seeing him?  Isn’t Maya the one who told you to be with him?  What’s the big deal?”  She leaned against the rack.  “Kadyn, when are you going to stop worrying about what everyone else wants, and dealing with what you want?  Do whatever makes you happy, not Maya, or anyone else, you.”

“Leave it to Jacey to give you an inspirational life speech in the middle of GoodWill, why did you drag me here, anyway, just to make me watch you shop for clothes?”

“What are friends for?”  She pushed against my shoulder, laughing. 

“I just, I don’t think it’s that easy, life doesn’t work that way, Jacey.”  I sighed.

She rolled her eyes before continuing down the rack, “Whatever, Kadyn.  It works however you want it to.”

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** 

I’ve never been happier than when I’m with Krys, but Maya is my best friend… Well, at least… she was.  I love Krys, I really do, but, I just don’t think we could ever get passed this.  I mean, I don't think I could, he doesn't quite seem to care nearly as much as I do about hurting Maya.  In his eyes, she's nothing, when it comes to me, at least

“This is all your fault…”  I said, though I knew he couldn’t hear me.  I sighed.  “If you would have just listened to yourself instead of wondering how I would think of you, we probably wouldn’t be in this issue right now.”  I sighed again.  Maybe I should listen to my own advice.

I heard my phone go off next to me.  I contemplated my options, it was either Jacey, telling me to get off of my ass and quit feeling sorry for myself.  Or it was Krys, asking to see me.  Or, maybe, just maybe, it was Maya, telling me that she was sorry.

I turned over, staring at my door.  I don’t want to know who it is.  I don’t really feel like talking to anyone, especially not any of those three. 

I closed my eyes and started to doze off, that’s when I started to hear a soft tapping on my window.  I tried to ignore it, falling asleep.  Then the tapping became louder.  I opened my eyes and looked over at my window.  When the taps continued, I climbed out of bed and walked over to my window.  I parted the curtains, looking down.  I opened the window, “Krys…”  I sighed, rubbing my face,  “What are you doing here?” 

“I came to see you…”  He dropped the rest of the rocks from his hands.  “I tried calling you, then texting.  So I figured I’d have to do better than that, right?”  He chuckled softly, anxious.

“Krys…”  I looked around, shaking my head.

“Just, let me come in?  Just for a minute, I just want to talk, Kade…”  He looked up at me with hopeful eyes.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Kadyn, please, I’m begging you, I need to see you,”  he scratched the back of his head, smirking shyly up at me.

“It’s late,”  I swallowed, trying not to let my voice crack, “Not tonight.” 

I slammed the window shut, closed the curtains, and walked back over to my bed. 

Perhaps Jacey was right, maybe it did work however I wanted it to, but tonight, I wanted to be alone, so that’s exactly what I did. I buried my face into my pillow and cried myself to sleep.