Imperfectly Perfect

Chapter 12 - Friends? I guess

The amalgamated effect of two boys messing up the normal order of my life left me so troubled that I couldn't sleep until dawn today morning. It was deeply frustrating and annoying - not able to sleep although you're super tired.

However, what really bumps me out is the utterly horrible dream I wake up from. My mother always tells me that morning dreams tend to come true hence; this remembrance makes me even more upset. Things can never be easy for me!

I roll over and see the time from my mobile. It's half past noon and I jump up from my bed. My forehead in fact my whole body is drenched in sweat in fact, and I'm very thirsty. Somehow, my shaky hands grab the water bottle from the nightstand and I gulp down some water.

On getting off the bed, I quickly use the washroom and later brush my teeth. I feel a pit in my stomach due to skipping breakfast. I decide to make myself a cup of coffee and munch on some biscuits.

As I make coffee, I take several exasperated sighs realizing that I've to wash loads of clothes as well as my hair. Regardless, I sit on the couch and turn on the television to enjoy my coffee and chocolate biscuits.

Certainly my mind is not here. It keeps going back to Niall more than Steven for some strange reasons. I think of the "personal problem" he mentioned a few days ago as well as anticipate the reason why he thinks I might like him. Why would I ever like him? I wouldn't consider him even if I was on deathbed and he was the last man standing. He is a jerk, an asshole, and I hate him.

I feel a strange kind of tension and numbness rise and drop in my body, resulting in me throwing away the coffee. Disgusted, I look through the refrigerator and try to settle on what to make for lunch, or should I say brunch. The idea of making my first Sunday brunch excites me and I'm thankful for it because it shoves aside my dampened mood.

Jogging back to the sitting area, I flip to Vh1 and turn up the music. Rihanna's "We Found Love" comes on and I tap my feet a tad. I fetch some prawns from the freezer and settle on making prawn curry and steamed rice. Cool winds arrive inside my flat and totally lifts my mood and I engross myself in cooking the brunch.

When it's 1.30 Pm, I am done making my brunch and the smell of the prawns fill my apartment and overwhelm my sensory organs. It affects me to such a great extent that I feel hungry instantly. Therefore, I don't waste any more time and get inside the bathroom to take a nice bath.

The "nice" bath consumes more than 30 minutes, but I feel fresh and happy for some weird reason. I apply body lotion after coming back to my room and cream on my face before slipping into a pair of blue shorts and white camisole. I serve myself a plate full of hot and soft steamed rice and prawn curry, feeling proud to have cooked a whole meal all by myself. Sitting on the couch, I flip through the channels and settle on Romedy Now where "Remember Me" is on. I get excited with Robert Pattinson being one among the list of several men on whom I've a super soft corner.

I commence eating lunch and something about Robert Pattinson - maybe his pale complexion, British accent and lean physique reminds me of Steven. However, strangely I don't feel any rush run through my entirety when I remember him. In fact, I feel extremely ashamed that I became so clingy towards Steven, showed as if I've some right on him, reflected that I'm such a needy and desperate girl, and together lost my self-esteem completely.

The realization makes me even more thoughtful and I end up musing on the events that occurred between Steven and I through these few weeks. And my sense of guilt for causing someone problem rises in me, making me extremely uncomfortable. The next thing I know is grabbing my mobile and typing an apologetic message to Steven.