She Crossed That Bridge

33

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Even when I'm gone . . .

HOLDING hands, we entered the cafeteria.

The whole school was empty because everyone's still in summer break, but because my boyfriend is a Guatamyel, we managed to enter the school. Perks of dating a Guatamyel. Malaki ang impluwensya ng pamilya niya rito sa school na 'to kaya kapag ginusto nila, ginusto nila.

I remember the first time we've met. It was exactly right here at the cafeteria. Ang bilis pala talaga ng panahon. Parang kailan lang.

Napayuko ako at napatitig lamang sa sapatos ko. Nakalulungkot lang isipin na ang bilis lumipas ng panahon. Dati ay naiinis ako dahil pakiramdam ko ang bagal-bagal ng paglipas ng mga araw, pero ngayon ay gusto ko na lang umiyak dahil sa bilis nang paglipas ng panahon.

Puwede bang pause muna? Puwede bang . . . 'wag muna siyang kunin sa 'kin? Puwede bang dito lang siya sa tabi ko?

I felt his hand squeezing mine, so I looked up to check if he's alright. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang makita kong okay lang siya. Akala ko ay napa'no na siya. Hindi ko talaga maiwasang kabahan sa bawat pagpisil niya sa kamay ko. Pakiramdam ko ay namamaalam na siya tuwing hinahawakan niya ako. Natatakot ako sa mga puwedeng mangyari.

He planted a smile on his face, scanning the whole area.

"This place will always hold a special part in my heart," he said, grinning widely. Alam kong naalala niya rin 'yong una naming pagkikita rito kaya tipid lang akong ngumiti at mas hinigpitan ang paghawak sa kamay niya.

"This is where it all started," I said, leaning my head on his shoulder.

He let out a small laugh I could feel his shoulder shaking. "Actually—no. This is not where it all started."

Confused, I stared at him. Ano'ng ibig niyang sabihin?

"To be honest, I saw you on Dest's laptop when he stayed in Belle Ville for Christmas break." Saglit siyang huminto at nag-isip. "That was six years ago when I first met you," dagdag niya pa.

Natigilan ako at napatitig sa kanya. Six years ago? That was my freshman year. Those times, Dest used to put too much effort into making my life a living hell.

"He was watching a video of you, frowning and glaring at him. He was genuinely laughing and smiling that time," natatawa niyang sabi habang napaiiling pa. "It was rare, seeing him like that," he said.

I literally had no idea with everything that he's saying right now. Ang buong alam ko, pinag-ti-trip-an lang ako ni Dest no'ng mga panahong 'yon.

Kaya hindi ko talaga maintindihan kung bakit sinasabi 'to sa 'kin ni Helix.

"Dest likes you."

To my surprise, my eyes widened. I haven't seen that one coming; Dest, liking me.

"Why are you telling me this?" I said, my forehead creased.

"You deserve to know the truth, Park."

"Truth about what?"

"About the real reason I approached you the first time you've met me."

Nang marinig ko iyon ay bumalik ulit sa isip ko 'yong unang beses ko siyang nakita.

And just like that, my hand slipped from his.

He approached me with purpose?

Seryoso ba talaga?

"Dest dated Pauline to forget his feelings for you, Park. He knew you were out of his league. He knew you'd never fall for someone like him."

I scoffed in disbelief. Ano ba? Prank ba 'to?

Mas lalo akong hindi nakapagsalita nang marinig ko iyon. I was really trying to absorb every single thing he said, but my mind won't let me.

"He never really cared about Pauline. He was too busy getting your attention kahit na paulit-ulit niya nang sinabi sa sarili niya na wala naman siyang pag-asa sa 'yo."

I can't even blink as of this moment. This information was way too far from my expectations. I never thought that Dest would like someone like me. It's just too hard to process. It's just too hard to believe. I mean, he used to say it to my face how ugly I was in his eyes. He used to say that I'm not his type, and I used to thank him for it because the feelings were mutual.

"No, that can't be true. He did nothing but annoy me," I said, forcing a laugh.

"You can ask go ask him," he confidently said, making me clench my jaw. Ano ba'ng gusto niyang mangyari?

"Why are you saying these things to me, Helix? Why are you suddenly—obsessed with forcing me to acknowledge Dest's feelings for me?" I said impatiently.

"W-what? No, baby. It's not like that. I'm just trying to tell you how it all started between me and you." He paused. "It was all because of Dest. I approached you to get back at him for hurting Pauline. I knew it would piss him if I date you."

"So, you never really liked me, huh. Do you even really love me?" I looked away, trying to stop my tears from falling.

I can't believe it was all an act. I can't believe that it was all because of his love for Pauline that he even dated me to avenge her.

Dahil pala kay Pauline kaya niya ako nilapitan.

Dahil pala kay Pauline lahat . . .

He cupped my face and made me look at him again. I fought the urge to cry, but my tears started rolling down my cheeks.

"Baby, I love you. Okay? At first, my intention wasn't pure, but when I got to know you, I've fallen in love with you, for real," he said, gazing at my eyes.

Still, I was not convinced. I didn't know anymore what to believe.

Masyado na ngang mabigat at masakit para sa 'kin na saglit ko na lang siyang makakasama, tapos ipagtutulakan niya pa ako sa iba dahil ayaw niya akong maiwang mag-isa.

"Do you remember that day we went to Realgorez with Kath and your dad?" he asked.

I nodded in response, still pissed about everything that he's saying right now.

"That was the time I have realized I'm in love with you," nakangiting sabi niya.

He wiped my tears off my cheek, and I couldn't control the flutter within, the lump in my throat, and the violent heartbeat any longer.

His fingers traced slowly from my cheek, down to my shoulder, and down to my spine, his breath coming more quickly against my skin. My hands were limp on his chest, and I felt lightheaded again.

He tilted his head slowly and touched his warm lips to mine, carefully parting them slightly.

"I love you, Helix," I said, my eyes not leaving his.

"I love you too, Shin," he whispered. My lips curved into a smile.

Hearing him say my name felt so good.

He rested his forehead over mine, his warm breath touching my skin.

Mas lumalim ang titig niya sa 'kin kaya mas naramdaman ko ang lungkot at takot na baka ano'ng oras ay mawala na siya sa 'kin.

Hindi pa ako handang mawala siya . . .

Hindi ko pa kaya. Hindi ko kakayanin.

"I want you to be happy, even when I'm gone," he said, and tears started falling down from his eyes.

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T I A N A V I A N N E