She Crossed That Bridge

37

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

I won't lose him . . .

AS soon as I stepped outside the bookstore, a chilly wind touched my skin. I shivered, and pulled my coat closer around me.

Ngayon na lang ulit ako nakabili ng mga bagong libro. Naging abala rin kasi ako sa trabaho kaya nawalan ako ng oras gawin 'yong mga hilig ko.

While walking on my way home, keeping under the streetlights, I felt a little nervous.

Since the world was so messed up and a lot of incidents were reported around the town, I knew it wasn't safe for a young woman like me to be walking around the streets all by myself at night. All the terrible scenes in the books I've read felt like it's been happening to me now.

Nang makita ko na ang bahay namin, agad akong pumasok sa loob at dumeretso sa kuwarto ko para magbasa agad ng libro. Ngayon na lang ulit ako nagkaoras magbasa, kaya susulitin ko na.

I opened Anna Todd's After. It was a great movie, so I bought its book version. Mas prefer ko kasi talagang basahin ang libro, malas nga lang kasi nauna ko nang mapanood 'yong movie adaptation.

Sa kalagitnaan ng pagbabasa ko, tumunog bigla 'yong phone ko kaya agad kong kinuha iyon.

Napangiti ako nang makita kong si Dest ang nag-text sa 'kin.

Still up?

Yes. Nagbabasa akong libro. Ikaw?

Nakahiga lang. Nagpapahinga. Ano'ng binabasa mo?

After.

Anna Todd?

Yep!

That's a great book.

Nabasa mo na?

Yeah. Matagal na 'yan, eh.

Ay gano'n? Grabe ka naman makasabi ng matagal, akala mo naman gano'n na tayo katanda!

Bakit? Hindi ba? Haha

Shut up, Dest.

Haha. I missed annoying you, little Ger.

Saglit akong napatigil at napangiti.

I missed you too, Dest. :)

"You're finally smiling again."

Napatingin ako sa pinto at nakita ko si dad na nakangiti habang nakatingin sa 'kin.

"Hey, Dad," bati ko sa kanya saka ako umayos ng upo.

"Do you remember Dest?"

"Yeah, of course. Helix's brother? 'Yong lagging nagpupunta rito sa bahay ng alanganing oras?"

I let out a small chuckle. "Yeah."

"What about him?"

"I . . . kinda like him," sambit ko, hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngiti ko.

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah. I think I like him. Siguro nga dati pa, hindi lang ako aware?"

"Kasi may Helix ka pa that time."

"Hindi naman sa gano'ng reason. Kasi kahit no'ng 'di ko pa kilala si Helix, talagang lagi ko nang nakauusap si Dest. Lagi niya kayang sinisira ang araw ko!"

Tumawa si dad at tumango-tango. "I remember him. Tuwing uuwi ka rito, lagi kang nakasimangot, tapos siya 'yong bukambibig mo."

"Kasi nakakairita naman talaga siya dati."

"So, you're dating him now?"

Umiling ako. "No, not yet. But I want to give it a shot," pagsasabi ko ng totoo.

Alam ko may rason kung bakit kami nagkita ulit. At sigurado ako sa rason na 'yon.

I didn't want to waste another time again. I know I might end up losing again the person I love, but that's just an excuse, right? Ano naman kung dumating man 'yong araw na mawala siya sa 'kin? Bakit iyon agad ang titingnan ko? Bakit ko palalampasin 'yong pagkakataon na nandito siya ngayon sa buhay ko?

"Why him?" tanong sa 'kin ni dad.

Natahimik ako bigla. Kailangan ba may dahilan kung bakit gusto mo ang isang tao? O iniisip ko lang na gusto ko siya dahil nakikita ko sa kanya si Helix?

Pero hindi, eh. Magkaiba ang ugali nilang dalawa. Sobrang magkaiba.

"You should sort out your feelings first, Shin. 'Wag mong madaliin. Kasi kapag minadali mo, baka makasakit ka."

Napatitig ako kay dad nang sabihin niya iyon.

Nagmamadali ba talaga ako masyado?

Hindi pa ba talaga ako handa?

Am I going to break his heart again? But this time, I couldn't do it. I knew I broke his heart a long time ago, but that's just because I didn't know he had feelings for me. Kung nalaman ko lang sana noon, we could've been one of the best couples in De Grande.

But I had to meet Helix. I had to fall in love with him. I had to cross paths with him. It all had to happen to shape me. To make me stronger. To make me the better version of myself. Para kapag dumating na 'yong taong nakatadhana talaga para sa 'kin, handa na ako . . .

***

THE shrill ringing of my alarm clock pierced my dead quiet room. It lasted only a split second bago ko pinatay iyon.

After a few moments of silence, I groaned to myself. Kahit ayaw ko pang bumangon, kailangan ko nang bumangon.

"Good morning, Dad," bati ko kay dad na kasalukuyang humihigop ng kape habang nagbabasa ng diyaryo sa kusina.

"Good morning. Papasok ka? Saturday ngayon, ah?" nagtataka niyang sabi.

Matamis akong ngumiti. "I have a date with Dest."

Napaangat ang kilay niya. "Oh. That fast?"

"Dad, he liked me since freshman year. And look at where we are now. I think it's not that fast. Everything between us was actually . . . slow. Slow in progress and all. And that makes everything perfect."

Tumango-tango siya at napangiti na lang din dahil sa sinabi ko. I knew he wanted me to be happy. At alam ko rin na masaya siya ngayong nakikita niya ako na gusto ko na ring sumaya ulit.

"Just make sure that you really want this. I don't want to see crying yourself again to sleep at night."

Napangiti ako at niyakap siya. "Dest's not dying. He's healthy as ever. I won't lose him, Dad."

~

T I A N A V I A N N E