I Want To Break Free ❤ Harry Styles Fanfiction

Chapter 17

Should I tell her? About everything. How strange Harry was nowadays. How he brought me up, just to let me down. How he made me feel so incredible happy, then just ignored me. Hurting me. The fact that he didn't talk to me anymore was hurting me more than it should. The worst part of it all was that I don't think I've done something wrong. I don't know what was going on between us. I still had my suspicions, what if Elizabeth told Harry to hang out with me, just like I was thinking from the start, and now he was tired of it and went back to his old friends. His old life, without me. Maybe he never liked me as a friend in the first place. What if everything we talked about, every laughter we shared was fake. What if he faked it all, just because Elizabeth wanted me to have at least one friend? The thought was painful, but I had to understand that maybe it was the truth.

I sat in her office now. Elizabeth's. I was very quiet, didn't say much. I could talk about the text I got a few days ago, the one that showed that someone had been standing outside my window, just to have something to talk about. I could tell her how scared I've been since I got it. That I've had trouble sleeping because of it, how I felt watched everywhere I went. I didn't feel safe in public anymore either, because I could feel the person lurk everywhere. Even in the back seat of my own car. Yes, it's gotten that far. It felt like I couldn't be safe anywhere. Well, actually there was one place. With Harry. I've realized that I needed him, as support.

It became too quiet in Elizabeth's office, so I might as well take the bull by the horns and ask her instead.

“What's up with Harry by the way?” I asked. She looked a bit surprised, but said in her usual, calm voice:

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I don't know if you know, but Harry and I have been spending some time together. You know, helping each other with homework and stuff,” I started.

“Yes, I know that,” she said with a smile.

Of course she knows, it was her plan.

“Good! So, I just wondered whats' up with him. He won't talk to me anymore. He ignores me to be honest. It's probably nothing, but I just want to ask you if you know why?”

She didn't answer right away. I know it's wrong of me to ask Harry's mother before asking him in person, but what should I do when he's ignoring me?

“To be honest with you Amber, I don't know. He's been acting strange at home too. His attitude is a lot worse than it usually is and he looks sad and depressed all the time. I know I shouldn't tell anyone about it, but since you've noticed it too, you might as well know it. I haven't seen him like this before. I guess the only ones that doesn't see it are the twins, because he acts like the real Harry when he spends time with them. It's like they are the only ones that can lighten up his days.” I didn't know what to say, did he act like this at home too? Then he can't be angry at just me, it seems like he's more depressed over something. Something that has to do with me? It was in that moment that I decided to ask him again, and I wouldn't leave him alone until I got a realistic answer.

I started to get a bit nervous as I entered the school hallway in the morning. I actually saw him right away, talking to Jennifer. They stood next to her locker and seemed to talk about something serious. Maybe Jennifer noticed Harry's change too. He leaned down and kissed her before walking in my direction. Ever since Harry became so weird, I saw him and Jennifer a lot more than I did before. It felt like everywhere I looked, they were there, kissing and hugging or whatever. Did he do that on purpose or what? Just to make me miss him even more?

He actually looked at me. I got surprised when his pace started to slow down a bit, as if he wanted to talk to me. But when I came closer, he slowly started to walk again, looking away from me.

Come one Amber, it's now or never!

I grabbed his arm as he passed me, forcing him to look at me.

“We need to talk,” I said.

“Can it wait? I really don't have time,” he said with a voice that was a bit sharp. It just made me even more furious. I wasn't shy around Harry anymore, so I could be angry at him, and let it show. I dared to open my thoughts and feelings to him. At least a bit.

“That's just some lame excuse to get out of here! But you know just as well as I do that's something is wrong! And I want to know what it is!,” I said, raising my voice a bit. He kept looking at me with a harsh look, and I would actually be scared of him if I didn't know him.

“There's nothing to say,” was all he said after a few seconds of silence. I let out a big sigh. We needed to talk without being disturbed by the people in the hallway. I dragged him towards an empty classroom and closed the door behind us.

“Harry, I don't know about you, but I feel like we've developed some sort of friendship during this short time. And if you don't feel the same way, please let me know before I make a fool out of myself even more. Friends don't treat each other like this unless something's wrong!” I couldn't believe how much I opened up right now. That shy, insecure Amber seemed to be on a different planet at the time. It all started to feel a bit dramatic actually. Maybe I was overreacting, but I didn't want to lose Harry as a friend. He was my friend, right? Maybe I should ask him if Elizabeth had something to do with our “friendship”.

No, not yet. I'll see what he has to say to defend himself with first.

“Amber, I understand that you're confused. I don't blame you at all. But, please, believe me when I say that I can't tell you,” he said, sounding a bit more calm. It didn't make me less confused.

“I haven't been treating you fair, I know that. But like I said, believe me when I say that it's better like this. Better if we just move on,” he continued. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is he “breaking up” with me.

“So, our friendship wasn't real?” I quietly asked.

“Of course it was! I just don't think we can go on like that anymore...”

“Harry, you're not making things easier for me! You were the one that started to talk to me first! You were my only friend just a few days ago, and now you don't even look at me! I don't know what to think! What have I done?” I could feel tears burning in my eyes. Oh no, please don't let me cry.

“You haven't done anything, Amber. Don't think like that. I have myself to blame for this.”

I didn't find words. What was happening to him? To us? Is there even an “us”?

“Look, I have to go,” he said and actually stepped closer to me. I could feel me heart race a bit. I've missed him being this close to me. Before I knew it, he wrapped his arms around me. I gasped in surprise, but returned the hug, holding on tightly to his shirt. That's when I realized how much I'd actually been missing him. I buried my head in his shoulder, inhaling his wonderful smell. That was the first time we hugged, but it felt so natural, and I wish it could be during a bit more happy circumstances. We actually stayed like that for a while, even though he said that he had to go.

When he released me, I freaked out a bit. I didn't want him to leave.

“Bye Amber,” he said and actually stroke my cheek before leaving the room. I stood still, feeling his touch linger on my cheek. It was also in that moment that I realized why I was feeling so messed up.

I was falling in love with him.

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