Ciara.
"Marie, baby, what's the matter?" I let out a frustrated sigh.
I don't know why she was doing all this crying. I changed her, fed her, and even tried to put her to sleep. She kept crying, making me feel like I'm not doing something right.
"I came over just in time huh?" My mom walked over towards me.
"Whats wrong, ma?" I handed her to her and watched my mom.
My mom pat her back and Marie burped four times. She then rocked her back and forth making her go to sleep.
"You didn't burp her."
"I did but she wouldn't burp so I thought she didn't have to." I told her.
My mom disappeared into the back. I sat down on the couch and ran my fingers through my hair. I feel so stressed out and I'm tired. My mom came back in and sat beside me.
"How you feeling?" She rubbed my back.
"Mom." I started crying because I feel like I'm not doing anything right. "What's wrong with me?"
"What do you mean, Ciara?" She questioned.
I stood up and paced the floor. "I'm not doing anything right. I'm not a good mom, I'm slipping on my work taking care of Marie, and I'm worried something else might happen."
"Ciara, look at me." She said sternly.
I looked at her.
"Nobody's perfect in this world, baby. Everybody messes up or makes a mistake, you can't blame yourself for that. But you can blame yourself for getting pregnant." She looked me in my eyes.
"That's not my fault, I was basically raped-"
"But you knew the situation you was in. Ciara, you knew that boy liked you from the start. You should've listened to Storm. Storm has it hard for her, poor child loss her only close friend that was like her sister." My mother shook her head.
I do feel kinda selfish. Storm has it worst than me, I hurt her and so did Victoria and Aniyah. She deserves so much better than this. I messed up badly by getting pregnant and hanging out with someone she knew wasn't just my 'friend'. Storm is a smart, beautiful, independent woman. She handles herself well and tries to help others if needed. But don't get me wrong, she can be cold at the heart. Storm has been in bad situations since she was five after her parents died. She ended up having to live with her grandmother. If Storm wasn't in my life right now, I don't know what it would be like.
"You're right, I'm sorry. I feel-"
"Depressed?" She asked. "If so you need to see a doctor."
"No, I'm alright. I'm just gonna take a nap." I rubbed my forehead.
My mom nodded and kissed my cheek. "Ok baby. Call me when you wake up. Love you."
"Love you too." I smiled.
As I walked upstairs I heard the door open and close. I hopped in bed and stared at the ceiling. Was I really depressed? Or is it something else? I turned on my side and looked at the wall.
Storm.
"Hey there, hey there." I sung as I unlocked Ciara's door.
The house was quiet with the exception of the tv. I closed the door quietly and walked to Marie's room. She was sound asleep. I walked into Ciara's room and seen her looking the tv with no expression. The TV wasn't even on, it was just static.
"Ciara?" I walked up to her. She looked at me.
"What?" She had a hint of attitude.
"You aight? Why you just looking at static?" I turned the tv off and turned on the light.
"Turn it back on." She glared at me.
"Yo, what's up with you?" I scrunched up my face.
"Just go away!" She got out the bed and tried to push me out the room.
I grabbed her wrist and pushed her on the bed.
"Ciara! You know I don't like you putting yo hands on me!"
"Then maybe you should leave!" She screamed.
"What happened to you?"
She looked at me then started crying. What the hell did I do now? I just got here like five minutes ago.
"Storm, I don't wanna be here anymore." Ciara cried to me.
"What you mean you don't wanna be here anymore?" I asked her.
She looked at me. "Exactly what I said. I don't belong here, I can't keep living like this."
I bent down in front of her. "Cici, don't talk like that. Talk to me, baby."
"Storm, I want you to have someone better, who can treat you better than I ever did. I broke your heart so many times and you still take me back. You don't deserve me and I don't deserve you." She sniffed and wiped her tears.
"Ciara, listen to me. We both did some wrong things but we move pass them. What ever happened is gone. I'm not worried about the past, I'm worried about now. You're everything I ever wanted and I'm not just saying that. If I leave you, I'm not gon' have anybody in my life anymore." I looked in her eyes.
She smiled and looked down at me. "I really do love you, Storm."
"I love you more baby girl."
She bent down and kissed my lips softly and pulled back. I took off my shoes and laid in bed with her. Hearing her talk like that made me worried about if she was gon' kill herself or not. She needed to talk to somebody, I'm not losing the love of my life.
—
**EDITED 10/2018**
