Ciara.
"I only was doing it because I was stressed out, alright?! I didn't know what else to do!" I cried.
Storm shook her head. "That don't mean go to drugs, Ciara. What the fuck is happening to you? You done changed a lot. You not even the Ciara I once loved." She said coldly.
I looked at her with my mouth wide open, I then looked over at KJ who was shaking her head. This could not be happening, I know this wasn't real. It's just a dream Ciara, it's just a dream. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I opened them back up and still seen them.
"W-what are you trying to say?" I stuttered.
Storm sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Ciara, you gotta do better. I'm not saying I'm leaving you officially but I'm going to stay away for a while. I called Mama Katelyn-"
"Wait! You called my mama?!" I jumped up from the couch.
"Uh yeah I did! You can't keep this shit like it's a secret! This is something serious!" She yelled back.
"I can't believe you would do this. I'm a grown ass woman with a child. If I can take care of a baby then I can care for myself."
"You really just put Marie in this? You're not her mother, you barely mess with her. I don't think she would want a drug addict mom."
"How dare you say that?! I gave fucking birth to her so how can you tell me that? And I'm not addicted, I've only done it a few times."
Storm chuckled. "You gave birth to her how? By cheating on me, aight? You know what. I'm done."
I rolled my eyes. "I don't care anymore. Just get out my fucking life and don't come back! I don't need you or anybody!"
I screamed and looked at KJ and Storm. I knew I was crying but Storm was letting tears stream down.
"Thats really how you feel? Okay." Her voice cracked as she walked upstairs.
"You was gonna leave me anyway." I mumbled.
She turned around. "But, not like this. I never thought of breaking your heart like you did mine."
I watched her walk upstairs. I looked at KJ and she shook her head.
"She was only trying to help, Ciara. You really are fucked up." KJ walked upstairs too.
I didn't even say nothing back because she was right. I've told myself before I was a fuck up but I really am now. Nobody loves me. The therapy wasn't even doing anything anymore. I didn't wanna go back. I picked up the bag of cocaine and threw it away. I've gotta prove to everybody I'm not addicted but most importantly, Storm. I'm not letting her leave like that even though I said it. Everything I said was so hurtful, it hurt me when I said it.
Storm.
I wiped my tears as I packed my shit. If she don't want me here then I'll go. But I know it's not right to just leave her, I just can't deal. I yelled and knocked everything off the dresser and fell to the ground. I cried louder as KJ walked towards me. She held me and kissed my forehead telling me everything was okay. That seemed to be something she said and it never was.
"No it's not, okay? I'm tired of it all. This isn't how things are suppose to be. I'm suppose be cuddled up with her, kissing her, and everything. But this happened." I sniffed and shook my head.
KJ looked me in my eyes. "Storm, what did I tell you before? Nothing good comes when you want it. I know I'm always saying everything is okay, and I'm sorry."
I nodded and stood up. I made sure I wiped my face again and grabbed my bag. I would come back tomorrow to come get everything else. I walked downstairs with KJ behind me. Ciara was sitting down with her legs up to her chest, I sighed.
"Where's the bag?" I asked.
She looked up at me. "The trash. I threw it away."
I walked towards the trash can and pulled it out. I walked to the bathroom and poured it down the toilet then flushed. I walked back out and picked my bag back up.
"Storm, please don't leave me. I'm sorry for everything I've done and said." Ciara pleaded grabbing my arm.
"I'll be outside." KJ mumbled walking out the house.
I sat down by Ciara, she crawled in my lap and straddled me.
"Baby. Please, okay? I'm wrong, I know. I know you're tired of hearing me say this." She whispered looking in my eyes.
You know that feeling you get when you just love somebody that much to never leave them? Or the feeling when you just wanna stay with them? I have so many thoughts running in my mind right now, I'm getting a headache. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples.
"I gotta go. It's only for the best. Mama Katelyn will be here tonight to talk to you." I kissed the corner of lip and tapped her thigh.
She made a face and moved. I stood up and walked towards the door.
"I love you, Storm."
I looked back at her and opened the door.
"See you later, Cici."
I ain't say it back because she would think I'd be right back. I probably hurt her feelings but she did me the same. I'm really leaving her for a while this time. Maybe longer...
—
**EDITED 10/2019**
