Falling For You All Over Again {Editing}

Lena's Letter

I opened the manilla envelope that had a small stack of papers in it. I pulled them out and looked at the letter on top. I started to read it. 

Dear Adam,

I know I haven't contacted you in 2 years. I didn't want to, but I am forcing myself to contact you now. I am fine. Nothing happened to me. I am safe. I can't tell you where I am, but I know you. You'll come looking for me. Please don't. Live your life Adam. I want you to be happy. You clearly weren't happy with me.

Especially after Sarah died. We were growing apart Adam. As much as you want to say to yourself that we were in love, we weren't. We were falling out of love. Sarah's death tore us apart. I tried to stay for the girls' sake, but you cheating on me pushed me over the edge. If you loved me and were happy with me, you wouldn't have cheated.

I love you Adam, and I know you love me. But, we aren't in love anymore. Sarah's death took a toll on me and when you told me you cheated, it pushed me over the edge. You don't know how much I wanted to run into the bathroom and take a handful of pills just to make the pain go away. Running away was the only thing I could do to save my life. I want you to move on Adam. Move on without me. Be happy. That's what I want for you. I'll move on eventually.

With this letter are the papers I signed. I am giving you sole custody of Adalyn and Kennedy. I can't take care of them alone. You are a much better parent than I am, Adam. I know you will take good care of them. Please take care of them. I've had someone checking on you and the girls. You have really done a good job raising them over the past 2 years. They are growing into beautiful girls. I know that you will be a good father to them, you always have been. I would say I'm sorry that I'm leaving you as a single father, but knowing you, you won't be single for long.Say hi to Sarah for me every so often. Tell her how much I love her and how much I miss her.

The other thing in this envelope is divorce papers. I've signed them so that you can move on. I also left my engagement ring and my wedding band in the envelope. You made the 2 years that we were together the best of my life. I never thought that I would ever see you again after our one night stand 18 years ago. You proved me wrong. I fell for you all over again. Something I promised myself that I would never do. But I did. You are the most amazing man, Adam. You were an amazing husband.

I don't think I will ever find someone as amazing and wonderful as you. Which makes me question why I left. But, you have to know. This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'm sobbing as I'm writing this letter. My heart is telling me to just rip up this letter and go back to you. My head knows that if I do go back to you, all I will be is paranoid. I will be miserable and you would be too. I can't torture myself anymore. I love you very much Adam. You were the most amazing husband. Don't blame yourself, this is all on me. Move on Adam. Be happy. I love you. Love, Lena.