Chapter Thirty-seven

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"Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you. You are my only one. I let go, there's just no one that gets me like y-" The music stopped abruptly when Tom's headphones were yanked off. Tom opened his eyes and glared at his attacker. Mark just gave him a pitiful look before glancing down at Tom's phone.

"You gotta stop torturing yourself, dude," Mark frowned when he saw the album art for Ocean Avenue. Tom sighed, knowing his friend was right. But he couldn't help listening to the album. It reminded him of her. Fuck, he missed her.

"I fucked up, Mark," Tom groaned and covered his eyes with his hands, as if that would solve this mess he had created.

"I know," Mark simply replied. Tom uncovered his eyes and glared at his friend. Mark was supposed to be consoling him, not agreeing with Tom. "But staying in bed all day isn't going to make things any better."

"I haven't been in bed all day," Tom argued. "I went to school. Then I got home and got into bed." And all he wanted was for Mark to go away so he could continue lying in bed and hating himself.

"Tom, it's Tuesday. We have our first exam tomorrow," Mark emphasized. "You need to study." Tom sighed and rolled over to face the wall, away from Mark's look of disapproval.

"Who cares? I'm not going to college anyway."

Mark grabbed Tom's shoulder and turned him back around. "Tom, I'm not going to let you fail your exams and have you repeat senior year."

Tom just fiddled with his hands, completely unmotivated to study for something that was pointless in the grand scheme of things. He wouldn't be able to focus anyway; all he could think about was Addison.

As if Mark had read Tom's mind, which to be honest, probably wasn't that difficult at this moment, Mark asked, "Have you tried to talk to her at all?"

Tom nodded. "Of course I have," he answered. "I called her dozens of times after she left, but she never picked up. And then at school I tried to apologize again, but she just reacted the same way, brushing it all off."

That probably hurt Tom the most. If Addison had ignored him at school, at least he would know that she was mad at him, that she felt something, some kind of emotion directed at him. But instead she acted like she didn't care at all, like their relationship really hadn't been real. Every time Addison smiled at him or tried to make small talk with him at school when they were with all their other friends, Tom felt his heart twist painfully. She was acting like their relationship never happened, like they had just been friends this entire time. But it wasn't the same as it was before. Tom could see the sadness in her eyes when she smiled, and hear the pain in her voice when she forced the hollow chitchat out of her mouth. Tom knew he had hurt her, even if she tried to act like everything was fine. And he couldn't live with himself knowing he had been the one to make her cry that Sunday afternoon; that he had broken his promise to take care of her.

Why had he ever made that stupid bet? It all seemed so trivial now. He should have just dropped the bet and given the money to Mark and Billie Joe that day in the bathroom. Even though he knew it would end up hurting Addison, although at the time of the bet he hadn't thought about that, he didn't give up the bet because he just didn't want to let their relationship go. And now he lost Addison anyways.

Mark sat down on the edge of Tom's bed and placed a hand on Tom's knee. "Look, I know it hurts right now." Tom scoffed at Mark's understatement. "But there are other girls. Any girl in school would kill to be your girlfriend."

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