Love Me, Again?

Chapter 18: My First and Only Love

Happy reading! :)

Chapter 18: My First and Only Love

Louis devised a schedule for their summer break. He spent days just talking and going out with his sister. The other days were spent working for money. The little money he earned was all spent on his outings with Leila. She’d often felt guilty about it, but he just shrugs it all off and smiles. He loved spending time with her.

It was a bright Saturday morning. Leila got ready because she usually hung out with her brother during those days. Louis knocked on her door lightly and led her down the stairs. They said goodbye to their mother and left for the park.

“Race you there,” Louis said, as he ran.

“Not fair! You got a head start,” she yelled after him.

“Nothing in life is fair my dearest sister,” he plopped down on the grass and panted.

“You don’t need to keep reminding me about that you know,” she finally reached him and sat down. Leila looked around and noticed that this was another side of the park. This wasn’t where their tree was.

“Sorry sis… It’s just….It’s what I feel,” he looked at her sadly.

“Why do you feel like that?” She has always wanted to ask him why. For a few minutes absolute silence ate them up. They held onto each other’s gaze. Louis looked away sadly and cleared his throat.

“Years ago… I met a girl. She had a dark hair, almost black. Her green eyes were just so beautiful,” he sucked in a deep breath and continued, “She’d always wear this smile. A smile that was just so contagious and so genuine. She’d always laugh too, about anything. I met her and instantly felt something, you know. Kind of like a connection.” Tears started to cloud over his vision. His throat started to throb.

“Then what happened? Who was she?” Leila has never heard of his brother talk about another girl before. He didn’t even talk about Abigail like this.

“Her name is Jessica. Her older brother was my friend. You remember Jason?” Jason and Leila became good friends over the summer too. He’d often visit or take her to places she’s never been before.

“Of course! He’s one of my good friends,” Leila squeezed his hand, signaling him to continue.

“Jessica was like a big ball of energy. She knew how to make me laugh and how to make me happy. I was only in fifth grade then and she was in fourth. I was too young, but I knew that I felt something towards her. As the months passed, she started to look different. Her skin seemed so pale and she looked so fragile. It hurt me to see her like that, but she’d always laugh it all off and call me silly. One day, Jason went up to me in tears. He said that his sister was rushed to the hospital,” tears sprung out of his eyes as Leila hugged him tightly. He wiped them away and continued, “I went to visit with him. The once lively and strong girl looked so fragile and almost…dead. Even though she was stuck to all of those tubes and seemed so weak, her eyes still held the same sparkles I loved. I visited her every day, encouraging her to get better. Though I knew her body was deteriorating as the days passed. I remembered her taking my hand and looking at me as I cried… Then she said something that made my heart skip a beat… She told me to kiss her.  I looked at her in shock but did it anyway. The kiss felt so amazing… It brought a warm feeling over my body and made me so happy. She smiled at me widely and said the three words that sounded like music to my ears. She told me she loved me.” Leila held on to him tighter. Louis couldn’t stop the tears from falling. His heart began to ache. He needed her so much. He missed her touch, her smile and her laugh.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there for you,” she whispered lightly.

“It’s okay,” they stayed in each other’s arms until Leila cleared her throat.

“Please continue,” she pleaded. He nodded his head.

“I said it back to her and watched as she grinned at me like a goof. Then her eyes started to close… She squeezed my hand tightly and told me that she’d wait for me. Just like that, her firm grip loosened on my hand. The long ear piercing beep of the machine went off as I stood there in shock. My first love was gone,” Leila felt the tears building up and her throat began to hurt. Tears made their way down her cheeks. She didn’t know that her brother was in so much pain. She felt so guilty for not being there for him. Louis wiped some of her tears away and smiled sadly.

“Jason hasn’t been the same. His eyes held so much sadness. Their parents blamed each other, resulting into a divorce. That’s why he only lives with his mom,” he choked out. “I was scared Leila. I didn’t want that to happen to you and our parents… That’s why I tried to push you away. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done. However, I knew that I was wrong. I shouldn’t be pushing you away. You were always there for me, even though I was a bad brother to you… I’m going to make it up to you sis. I will try to be a good brother to you,” he spoke with so much determination in his voice. That made Leila feel even guiltier. All those years, she thought that her brother really did hate her. He was only protecting her from getting hurt.

“You don’t need to Louis. I’m not going anywhere and so are you, okay? You don’t need to try because you already are the best brother I could ever ask for,” she smiled at him genuinely and kissed his cheek.

“Thanks for listening. I haven’t told anyone about this…” he trailed. She squeezed his hand gently.

“It was nothing. Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me,” they sat in a very comfortable silence. “I’m sure she’s watching over you, somewhere other there.”

“I know,” with that, the birds started to chirp and the wind started to blow.

The warm wind caressed his body. It was almost as if Jessica was there with him. The warm feeling shot through his whole body… Only one person could’ve made him feel that.

“I love you so much Jessica,” he whispered, hoping she’d hear it somehow. "My first and only love."

The never ending tears began to flow down his cheeks again. Life was truly unfair.

Leila’s eyes gazed at her brother. She had never seen him this… vulnerable. It was very new to her. She felt a small smile tug on her lips. She really missed Louis.

“Can we visit her?” Leila looked at him with her big puppy eyes.

“Actually, we already are.” Louis smiled at his sister’s childishness.

“What?” She asked, dumbfounded.

“After she died, we found a note under her pillow. She wanted to be cremated and have her ashes poured all over one of her favorite places in the world. Under the two trees,” he pointed upwards as she saw two trees towering over them. “This was where we used to sit and talk about anything. I didn’t want to take her to our tree. That’s our special place.” He grinned.

“Oh,” was the only intelligent thing she came up with.

“Yup,” his eyes looked at nothing in particular. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts.

“Louis?” Leila looked at him pleadingly.

“Yeah?”  He snapped out of his daze.

“What made you change your mind? You know, about us.” Leila watched as his face scrunched up in confusion. Then she saw a slight blush come upon his face.

“I…I… just missed you. That’s all,” Leila nodded but wasn’t fully convinced with his answer.

Someday, she’ll find out the real reason. She’ll thank whoever or whatever that reason is. In the meantime, she relaxed herself and lay down on the grass. She wondered what Jessica was like. She closed her eyes and imagined a much shorter and girl version of Jason. Boy was she beautiful!

--------------------------END OF CHAPTER 18----------------------------

VOTE.

COMMENT.

FAN.

<3